Do I make a complaint to the police about this?

[Nightoutasap]

I have name changed for this, but I am not a particularly regular poster anyway. I am worried about outing myself, so I am trying to keep the details as brief as I possibly can, as there is an investigation in place which I do not want to jeopardise.
Just before Mother’s Day 2018, my sixteen year old daughter was raped by her ex boyfriend. She disclosed this to the police three months later (she didn’t tell me at the time, we knew he was bad news and we were certain she wanted to escape from him, but his relentless stalking of her was making it difficult to make a break so she went to stay with her grandparents to get some distance from him - she was worried that we would have been angry that she met up with him when we were doing everything in our power to keep her away from him - which she wanted). She was talking to the police in order to provide details of the continuous attempts by him of getting to her - as we had been told to inform them of each and every contact made. During her interview, she disclosed what had happened, and I have no doubt whatsoever that it occurred.
Since the disclosure was made, statements were taken etc, there has been absolutely no progress with the case at all. I was calling maybe once a month (in the absence of any attempts for the police to contact me) but I was made to feel like I was being a nuisance. It was agreed that I would be contacted every six weeks with an update, - which does happen (via email) but it just says there are “no significant developments”. There is no forensic evidence, but there are other lines of enquiry to be looked into. I completely understand that an allegation of this magnitude needs to be looked at really carefully, and ultimately, there is probably very little chance of a conviction. However, surely after a year, there should be some progress into this, even if it is to say that it’s being dropped. It has not been sent to the CPS yet, and I know that once they have it, it will take a long time for a decision. It’s like living with a black cloud over us. The ex boyfriend knows that the allegation has been made, and even though we haven’t heard anything from him for months, I dread to think what he could do. I have probably already said too much, but in short, does anyone have any experience of how long this “stage” should take? I still have this feeling that not enough is being done given the time frame, but I have no experience of this, so I’m not sure if my expectations are too high?
DD is holding up remarkably. Doing well at school, and is being stoic. Has had lots of counselling and this can continue as long as she needs to.

I should add - should I make a complaint about the way this has been handled to the police?

Firstly, I'm very sorry to hear what your daughter has been through - it's terrible for her and I hope she is getting the right support.

With regards to the police enquiry, sadly, they do take a long time sometimes and they will be limited as to what updates they can give. I would say that the fact they have not closed the case is a good sign.

It could well be that the investigation has thrown up new questions which also need investigating, for instance, they may have contacted friends/ex partners etc who then disclose something which then leads to further investigations. I fully appreciate it must be difficult for you all though.

Is the being contacted every 6 weeks still helpful for you or would you prefer to be contacted only if there are significant developments? You could always discuss that.

I hope you get some resolve soon for all of you

I'm so sorry about what happened to your DD. Does she want the case to progress further - eg going to court and possible giving evidence/cross examined?

DD is in two minds about the case progressing...she is aware of the brutality of cross examination. However, she does not want to ask the police to close the case for fear of being seen as a liar and she would find it hard to forgive herself if she heard of him hurting others, which I have no doubt he will. She has been through the absolute wringer this year, and I think the prospect of a court case would really frighten her, but she also wants to do what’s right.

Thank you pumpkin... this is reassuring. I think perhaps the investigating officer lacks a little diplomacy which as exasperated me a couple of times....it really is very very hard!

the police is full of inconsiderate, bitter uneducated idiots who do not care about anyone but their self

I have had several crimes go unheard even with proof

if they dont liek you though just know they would do everything to charge you even if you are innocent

Sorry you're facing this OP.

Ime officers working these sorts of cases have a huge workload of maybe 20-30 similar investigations - this doesn't help you of course but that's the nature of it.
The officers go into work hoping to get some work done and end up getting tied up with even more jobs that come in while they're at work.
There simply aren't enough officers.

I am sorry you've been left hanging for so long. Officers do appreciate how hard it is for the families involved but, honestly, I think we become desensitized to it all and we're often not as tactful and sensitive as we should be.

bella
No officers try to charge people they know to be innocent
CPS decide to charge in most cases...

And police officers meet 100s of people - there are so many knobheads out there we don't have the luxury to pick and choose who to go after.

I used to specialise in this kind of investigation. A year isn’t unusual unfortunately. Rape cases a so closely scrutinised, so evidence files have to be meticulous. The defence will find any hole they can in a case so CPS have to be aware of everything. Police will have to go through everything with a fine tooth comb, including phone data. A typical phone report can take weeks to go through as police have to make CPS aware of anything that could support or undermine the allegation, so there are no surprises at court. And typically a DC will have a lot of cases at any one time.

During this time there is little we can tell people about progress, because it’s not a case of there being significant developments, it’s just gradually working through a long to do list.

Ignore Bella’s unhelpful comments. Of course there are bad officers but the majority of us do the job because we want to help people and we want to get dangerous people off the street.

Good luck with the case, and I hope your daughter can find some peace whatever the outcome.

Sorry to bring back an old thread, I am the OP. We have still heard nothing apart from six weekly "nothing new to report" emails. The ex has been making contact by calling her from different phones, and playing electronic "songs" down the phone to her...as she is still studying abroad (still doing well) the police cant do anything about it as it hasn't happened in the UK; although the messages were sent from here. DD will be coming back for good in June after she has completed her exams, and although she will be off to uni, we are all worried about the fact she will be geographically closer to him. She has chosen a university at the other end of the country partly for this reason.
I guess I want to know if 15 months from the rape being reported (18 months from it happening) with still no light at the end of the tunnel is acceptable. The case has not even been sent to the CPS yet (I know it may not even get this far), so we still have such a long way to go, and DD is now coming home relatively soon.

@Nightoutasap. I am so sorry that your daughter has gone through this, and you also too. I speak as a former police officer. It sounds like there are 2 issues at hand. Firstly the rape and secondly harassment. Your daughter could apply for a restraining order. This at the very least would prevent him contacting her for risk of immediate prison.
The second issue is the rape allegation. Unfortunately, as so many will attest, it is usually one word against another and that causes great difficulty in proving it. I am not in anyway suggesting your daughter isn’t telling the truth but if it were to proceed there needs to be hard evidence it occurred. I was involved in many rape cases and each one broke my heart. I’m sure the police are doing the best they can with the resources they have but I would recommend pushing for a restraining order at the very least!

Thank you R2519. I completely understand that an allegation like this needs to be investigated thoroughly. I also have two boys, and I am heartened in a way, that if a malicious allegation was made, it would be viewed cautiously.
However, my question is; surely after fifteen months, the police would know if there was enough evidence to take to CPS, who will ultimately make a decision. Or, is this an acceptable time frame? I am very realistic about the prospects of him being convicted over this; however, at the moment, we just want out of this limbo land we are in, either one way or another.
Re restraining order - police said not applicable as she is in a different country. I guess they might apply one for when she comes back?

If she is living in another country then unfortunately there is little the police can do, but when she returns it can be taken further and i recommend requesting this when she does.

Now comes the uncomfortable bit. The reality is there is currently not enough evidence at this moment in time, or the police would have already passed the file to the CPS to decide on charges. That is unfortunately your answer. The police will generally not 'close' a case unless they absolutely have too / it goes 'cold' so to speak. They have a case handler (a detective) assigned but that case handler will also have 20 or 30 other cases. Usually, and this is the hard bit to accept, its at the bottom of the pile until some new evidence comes to light. They will 'review' each case periodically until such a time as there has been no updates for X period of time, then for all intents and purposes, it is 'closed' or at least a cold case. Evidence can come at any time so its almost impossible to put a time limit on when to close a case. I would suggest though that after 15 months it is unlikely further evidence would come forward but it sometimes does. Please don't give up hope but perhaps try and accept the time passed so far shows it is unlikely anything further will come of this, even if the police wont tell you that definitively. I'm so sorry i cant give you a better answer but i would rather you have the truth than false hope, if that makes sense.

Thank you. When I have spoken to them, they say they are currently reviewing phone evidence. They have been doing this for about two months (before that, they were waiting for the downloaded evidence from the phones to come back from the specialist teams, which took about 8 months I think). I do know there were a lot of lines of enquiry as he had allegations made against him by other girls, which we only found out about afterwards. They are definitely giving me the impression that they are still working on it, rather than waiting for potential new evidence to materialise, but I will take on board your advice and try to move on. I just wish they would tell us the case was closed!