To think my friend is copying everything I do?

[Lovemusic33]

Not a close friend (old friend from school, we were good friends), only contact I really have with her is Fb and Instagram. A few years ago I started a new hobby and admittedly posted a lot about it on Fb, a few months later she started the same hobby, we even exchanged a few messages about it via messenger and I didn’t think anything of it. After a while I hid her on Fb (I can’t see her posts but she can see mine). Last summer I bought a specific kind of vehicle and also started another hobby, also went on holiday with my dd’s. I started posting on Instagram mainly to do with my hobby, I noticed a few weeks ago that she follows me on Instagram so I started following her and looked at her profile, she has bought the exact same vehicle as me and started the same hobby as me, there’s also photos of her on holiday I the exact location I stayed last year. It’s kind of made me feel a bit weird. Should I delete her completely on Fb and Instagram? I don’t really post much on Instagram other than stuff linked to my hobby so have never used security settings (maybe I should change the settings).

AIBU or does it sound a bit weird??

I mean, if you’re going to post this stuff for an audience, people are going to think, “great hobby! I might take that up!” Your friend included. It’s official. You’re an influencer.

Why does it bother you if your friend has been influenced by your posts? Do you just want to say ‘look at me!’? or do you want to encourage people towards something that’s brought you pleasure?

You drop people because they’re horrible, not because they have taken up a hobby you’ve encouraged. Imitation is the best form of flattery.

TheVan We did actually fall out a while ago for a different reason (I can’t go into details) which is why I hid her on Fb, I have since removed her (I think, I need to check). My Instagram is open as I have no idea how to change the settings, I just use it for my hobby.

I don’t mind people taking up my hobby (they are pretty good hobbies) but the rest of it seems a bit weird, she even has her hair like mine 😐.
I have never had anyone copy me so I guess it just makes me feel a bit odd, I was the uncool kid at school. Maybe I should feel flattered?

You’re an influencer.

I think you're putting too much thought into this. If you want to remove her for whatever reason, just do it. It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Sounds weird. Remove her. It's not a close friendship anyway.

Just restrict your audience so she can’t see your posts if it pisses you off.

The thing is, in order to say that your friend is copying you, you would need to have evidence that she is doing so on purpose. If you have a lime green Mohican, your hobby is throwing paint over penguins and you drive a purple London taxi then yeah, she’s copying you.

However, if you have a silver Volkswagen, streaky blonde shoulder length hair and your hobby is running then these are all regular enough things for people to have or do.

If this is stressing you out then block her. However, don’t tell her that you think she’s copying you. People are surprisingly homogeneous. Even if she saw pictures of your holiday in Cornwall and thought what a great idea, it isn’t Single White Female territory.

If you don’t follow her how do you know you had your hairstyle, hobby, car first? She may be thinking exactly the same. I certainly never realised I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere a friend had been if I thought it looked like a good place to visit.what is this hobby that you do that is so unusual others may not just happen to do it anyway.

If she has bought a caravan, has been going on caravanning holidays, has bought a dog and has highlighted shoulder-length hair-she probably isn't copying you!

put up a picture of your new "tattoo" and other new things, get a picture of you sitting in a new car and post that, some pictures of some fun hair dye boxes and ask your insta fans what colour should you try

CruCru you could compare what I drive to a purple taxi. My hobbies are not the type of thing lots of people do, one is quite skilful and the other a not so popular sport.

mum I saw her photo on her hair Instagram profile when it came up that she follows me. The hair is probably coincidence. I bought my vehicle over a year ago and started the 2nd hobby last year whilst she could still see my Fb posts.

Anyway, it’s no big deal. Just found it a bit odd that’s all.

My best friend from school did this too, but she went one better than your friend and bought an identical house to me doors down (there are about six quite unique victorian semis), then they copied my car (a few years ago). I have changed my car twice since then and she hasn't changed hers, however we just moved house and I am half expecting them to turn up on our new road. There's been other things. I got over it, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery - we are still friends.

She has however just copied me again by having her second boy, I had my third boy last year . Don't stress about it, as I learnt it's silly to lose a friend over something like this. Laugh about it.

Ah, in that case, perhaps fair enough. I had a friend in my teens who would repeatedly accuse me of copying her - it got to the point where she would say it whenever I did or bought anything (however ordinary). So I may just be a bit sensitive about “copying”.