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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you can have cold food at a wedding

68 replies

CheeseIsEverything · 23/04/2019 13:55

Our ceremony is at 4pm and we are looking to then put on food (one lot of food, no wedding breakfast or sit down meal) at around 6:30pm.

Do you think a cold buffet would be acceptable or would you expect hot food?

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 23/04/2019 15:39

I think it's ok as that's the type of style you're going for. I wouldn't expect people to stay late drinking though.

kaytee87 · 23/04/2019 15:41

How many people do you have coming? Crowd control can be an issue with a medium/large wedding with buffets and no seating plan.

MumUnderTheMoon · 23/04/2019 15:43

What about hiring a food truck if you did decide that you didn't want a cold buffet?

chemenger · 23/04/2019 15:43

I love a cold buffet, if there is enough food. So often the second half of the queue gets a pile of rice salad and an olive, where the first ten people have plates piled with salmon, ham and quiche, which they don’t actually eat . I don’t know how you regulate this without ending up with huge amounts of wasted food, but it’s something to discuss with the caterers.

I have been to an otherwise lovely summer wedding where it was freezing, a cup of tea or coffee would have been very welcome as the wind and rain swept round the marquee.

inchoccyheaven · 23/04/2019 15:45

We had a cold buffet for our wedding last January and lots of people said it was really tasty. We did ask that they label veggie food which they didnt but were happy to point out to mil what she was safe to eat.
We didn't eat much ourselves due to excitement and photos so glad hadn't paid out for 3 course meal.
It also meant people could mingle freely even though they had a set place at a table . We didn't have a top table either due to strained family relationships and we sat with friends instead.

Original poster
CheeseIsEverything · 23/04/2019 15:48

MumUnderTheMoon I really like some of the food truck ideas, I love the woodfire pizza or fish and chip shop experience.

The venue has said we can have something outside as well. The only thing that puts me off is people having to go outside to get their food and bring it back in. There's no guarantee of weather in the UK even in summer so I think it'd be a bit shit if it was chucking it down.

Also, the venue is upstairs (lift only for disabled access) so seems a bit too much to get people to go up and down the stairs to get food.

There will be around 70-80 people.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSevillle · 23/04/2019 15:49

Maybe have several smaller round tables of buffets, that all have the same selection of food on, rather than one massive table, where people insinctively form a queue at.

Also a smaller selection of food, rather than dozens of different items, so people don't feel they've missed out on something that's run out, because there's lots of everything that's there.

And make just about all of it vegetarian, with a couple of things that are vegan. Too many times a buffet will be dominated by sausage rolls, pork pie, sausages, ham sandwiches, quiche lorraine, which are effectively much the same food.

Have lots of things that most people like, that happen to be vegetarian, like onion bhajis, good bread, cheese, pickles, hoummous, carrots, falafels etc and then you don't have to worry about running out of vegetarian food because a non vegetarian has dared to pick up something not made from processed pork.

AnythingConsidered · 23/04/2019 15:51

I love a buffet at a wedding. Allows me to choose to eat what I want, in the quantity I want and stops the slowness of table service.

HOWEVER, plentiful is a massive consideration. I've been to, and heard about, many weddings with a buffet where the food runs out. Usually, these have been where a table by table system is put in place, with the last tables having little or no options/scraps of food left.

Also, to help with removing the huge queue, the best buffet wedding I attended was queued - so the same food was laid out, in the same order, on two tables which joined together at the desserts, so that the volume of people could be split into two, rather than one long queue. Like an H shape (hope that makes sense!)

Purpleartichoke · 23/04/2019 15:53

I love a cold food meal. Honestly, if my hot food isn’t super hot or has been sitting a long time, it’s less than appetizing. Food meant to be served cold or room temp is much more appealing.

kaytee87 · 23/04/2019 15:59

With 70-80 people I'd probably put food out on smaller round tables instead of one big long table. The people at the end of the queue will get scraps otherwise. I'd possibly reconsider a seating plan as well or it could be a bit chaotic. People under estimate the importance of crowd control if they're not used to organising events.

Ellenborough · 23/04/2019 16:01

kaytee has a point, maybe two or three tables rather than one big one. Perhaps people could queue at one table to have their meat and quiches carved/served then salads etc can be scattered around on smaller tables.

Ellenborough · 23/04/2019 16:03

and Anything has made the same excellent points.

Original poster
CheeseIsEverything · 23/04/2019 16:11

Right okay thank you... So the main concerns are amount of food and the queue to get to it.

I like the idea of multiple tables. I don't think the venue is big enough for more than probably two tables dedicated to food though. I'll have to visit again and see if we can move things around. They usually have it set up as one long table in an L shape on a corner so I could maybe split them into various tables.

OP posts:
Pharlapwasthebest · 23/04/2019 16:13

I went to a wedding which had a hamper on each table. It has samosas, cheeses, crackers, pork pies, in. There were platters on each table of cold meats and fruits. I wasnt sure, but it was delicious, and with each table having their own amount yo didn’t need to worry about queuing or running out.

Nanny0gg · 23/04/2019 16:13

I love a proper cold buffet.

Lush

Seeline · 23/04/2019 16:32

We had a cold buffet but the caterers served most of the food as people queued. It kept things moving and helped with portion control. There was plenty left once everyone was served so people could go back and help themselves to seconds if they wanted.

ImFreeToDoWhatIWant · 23/04/2019 16:37

Agree with everyone else, it will be lovely as long as there is lots of it - don't let the venue talk you down on numbers ie catering for only 80% or whatever, it's just not worth it. Also calling tables up in sequence is usually a good idea, best man job perhaps if there isn't a venue provided person.

Original poster
CheeseIsEverything · 23/04/2019 16:50

I love the hamper on each table set up! I only found one company near me that did it though and honestly they were pretty expensive for what it was. I think it was more because of the novelty of having a 'picnic' style set up.

Having servers to help with portion control is a good idea! I will look into this.

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 23/04/2019 16:53

Aargh....lovely puds, not spuds. Not a spud in sight unless it was in a salad!

Dh made me leave our reception without letting me finish my profiteroles. I still bear a grudge to this day.

MatildaTheCat · 23/04/2019 16:56

Having serving staff is a must to keep it tidy and replenish anything that is running out. You have to over cater as you can’t have the last people just scraping up the last left bits. Also if you have vegetarian guests ensure they get fed first or separately as otherwise meat eaters might well fancy the food that was intended for the veggies.

I had a buffet for 120 and it was nice but obviously you don’t get everyone seated and eating simultaneously.

MsLayla · 23/04/2019 18:05

Understand that it's a low key wedding, but I would expect / prefer hot food if I was a guest. If I'd travelled to your wedding, brought a present, maybe taken the day off work (shift worker) or possibly even stayed over night etc I'd definitely think the least required is a hot buffet or food truck. Preferably a sit down meal but understandably that's not to everyone's budget or taste. Buffets can be chaotic and unappetising.

When I got married last year it was important to me that everyone was well fed with nice quality food, plenty of decent booze and a lively band.

scaryteacher · 23/04/2019 18:25

MsLayla If done well, buffets are fine but the same goes for hot food. I've been to some weddings where the 'hot' food has been tepid, and rubbery.

When we got married, every one was very well fed, loads of Pimms provided, and a good time was had by all.

Mammyloveswine · 23/04/2019 18:33

I had a "fork buffet" consisting of chicken, salmon, roast beef, pasta salad, a rice salad, potato salad, salad vegetables, hot new potatoes... it was lovely and everyone commented on how nice it was! We had sticky toffee pudding after too. There was enough for people to have seconds and we had bacon sandwiches and potato wedges on the evening.

Pharlapwasthebest · 23/04/2019 18:40

@cheesels
She did it herself a few days before. Then all the guests bought a home made pudding.
Have you got friends/family that could help with hampers.
It was all easy to put together.

Original poster
CheeseIsEverything · 23/04/2019 19:32

Pharlapwasthebest

Wow, she did them herself!

Do you recall what she put in them?

I'd be a bit nervous doing it myself if I'm honest although I do have family and friends I'm sure would help.

OP posts: