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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Eating disorder, friend

6 replies

Bumper1969 · 23/04/2019 09:11

I have a friendship group that goes back 25 years. We are not in each other's daily life but met maybe twice yearly together and then on an individual basis a few times annually.
During a recent annual get together one if the friends who has always been ritualist around food scared us all. She brought four wooden crates ( 2ft sq) with her of food tools, weird vials, dried seaweed, measuring impliments, etc. She has also recently set up a business involving ( specialist) food production. The whole weekend became a focus on food. She did not partake in any daily plans or leave the house but stayed in to cook. She cooked very small almost like baby food. It is obvious to the rest if us that she has an eating disorder. Her mother was with us and whenever we were out, she spoke if her daughter's weird OCD and food rituals. She ( the mother) feels helpless. Does anyone have experience of this. Our friend is 50, she has never been hospitalized for this but has all her adult life been very underweight and ritualistic around food. Is there anything we can do?

OP posts:
Bumper1969 · 23/04/2019 15:00

Anyone?

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 23/04/2019 15:21

Has anyone tried talking to her about it, ever? If so how did she respond?
Is she the lower end of her natural BMI or noticeably underweight/ malnourished?

Bumper1969 · 23/04/2019 15:33

Lucy, thanks, yes I did years ago, she laughed it off. She's skeletal, six stone, at 50.

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LucyAutumn · 23/04/2019 16:29

Eep! Ok, it's a pretty hard subject to confront tbh as most people with an ED like to hide their habits and maintain a complete sense of control, without realising they've completely lost control.
I would look up some specialist eating disorder helpline as a first move, not for her but for you to ask for some good advice.
Do NOT hold any kind intervention or start talking to her GP as this could go very badly wrong and push her away.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

LucyAutumn · 23/04/2019 16:35

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/recovery-information/supporting-somebody

'Beat' looks like a good place to start...

Bumper1969 · 23/04/2019 18:09

Thank you Lucy. We all feel helpless. There's not much we can do but I'd like to pass any help onto her poor mother

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