How to tell DH I am depressed

9 replies

hadenough · 23/04/2019 00:43

Hello,

This weekend has been awful. Not for any reason. But I am finding myself feeling more anxious daily, and quite depressed.

DH is brilliant. But I don't feel well. I'm constantly on edge (for no reason), I constantly think the worst, and my anxiety levels are through the roof. But I don't feel I can admit this to anyone, least not DH who thinks I am fine, because I put on a brave face.

I am worried if I say something he'll think it's a reflection on him, or he is not making me happy (he does). There is no background behind how I feel right now. I just feel crap.

In general I am a hypochondriac and this has been going on for years. Any minor ailment and in my mind that means one year to live. I constantly imagine the worst. If I get a cold, it is some immune problem, a minor allergy or pain is cancer.

I just feel all these things and don't know how to stop. I know it sounds pathetic, but I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

nocoolnamesleft · 23/04/2019 00:46

Talk to him. If he's brilliant he will support you. If he doesn't support you, he isn't brilliant. And go to the GP.

Preggosaurus9 · 23/04/2019 00:52

Sounds like there is a massive back story. Did you have an abusive childhood? You may have PTSD rather. You might find that symptoms ramp up during times of peace and quiet, the core trauma is trying to resolve itself. Definitely go to gp and ask to be referred for CBT or counselling.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2019 00:57

How old are you, op?

GenerationX2 · 23/04/2019 01:02

OP. Speak to your Dr. see if you can get a referral to a Therapist.

Your Dr may prescribe anti depressants. If so take them. I felt like you and Preggosaurs9, I have NO massive back story, I have been on AD’s for about 8 months and it’s miles better. I’m also in therapy and it’s very helpful.

Take care OP

Original poster

hadenough · 23/04/2019 01:10

Yes it does ramp up during 'low times'. I loved having the bank holiday off, but this is exactly when my 'symptoms' increase. The trigger for this current anxiety episode was reading an article about someone who had a terminal illness. Whenever I am off from work and have time to think, so to speak, my anxiety goes up. Which in another way makes no sense as I don't like my job, and was looking forward to this weekend for weeks, but I hope that sort of makes sense. I'm 24.

OP posts:

Someoneonlyyouknow · 23/04/2019 01:11

The fact that you feel so anxious and low when there is nothing happening to make you feel like this is really what depression is all about. I know it makes you think that you should not feel like this but you can't help it. Don't you think your husband would want to know how you are feeling, although he is not responsible for cheering you up nor to blame for how you feel? While you don't tell him you deny him the opportunity to support you and the guilt of keeping this from him is making you feel worse.
You should go to your GP, there are lots of treatments which might help - although it can sometimes take a while to find the right balance.
You can also call the Samaritans or Mind, it might help you to practice what you want to say to your GP and husband. If talking is difficult you can also email Samaritans.
You are being very brave but you don't have to go through this alone.

EdithDickie · 23/04/2019 05:49

Please tell him. Chances are he already knows that something isn't right. DH was depressed couple of years ago and didn't tell me because he didn't want to worry me and thought he should just be able to get on with it etc. I knew there was something wrong, the distance, the edginess etc. I'd ask and try to get him to talk to be told there was nothing wrong and it was in my head. I thought he was having an affair or something like that.

Eventually he sent me a message while I was at work telling me. The RELIEF of knowing what was wrong was immense and then he went to GP and I could actually support him.

If you can't say the words then write them or email them or anything but please tell him!

Good luck OP, I hope things are feeling better soon.

rookiemere · 23/04/2019 07:26

I think you'd be best placed discussing your concerns with a doctor in the first instance. Then you might have a diagnosis to talk about with your DH and some ideas about how he can help you.

Fiveredbricks · 23/04/2019 07:40

Sounds like ocd/intrusive thoughts OP. You need to speak to your doctor for a proper mental health referal. Also get a full health MOT done so they can rule everything out for your peace of mind. Most surgeries offer then to the over 35's but many GPs are happy to do them for younger people if you're young. Make sure they include antithyroid antibodies. You may have a thyroid issue that needs addressing as it can also present in the same way as you're feeling right now.

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