I have recently been invited to a wedding of a colleague last week. It was a very last-minute affair- I think they had the date and invited a number of people, but last minute planned a bigger event.
The invite did say we were only invited for the evening part of the wedding, and the time.
The timeline they said would bea ceremony at the hotel, the the invited guests having dinner, and then after the dinner evening-only (so me and other colleagues) would arrive and they then wanted to do cake cutting with all the guests at X hour. Which is all fine up until now.
The hotel is in some godforsaken part of the country, and we spent considerable amount of time and money to get there (it is actually close to noone, not his nor her family nor friends), pay for somewhere to stay etc. A couple of people from the office were going, some of us sigt a +1, some on their own, so we all clubbed in together for transport and a flat for the night to bring expenses down. But still fine- we were looking forward towards a nice evening.
When we arrived, it turned out the schedule must have changed, the cake had been cut, and that everyone was still having their main meal- so a group of some 20-25 of us, including some other guests who we did not know and who were also evening-only, were ushered into a corner of the dining room, watching everyone eat for the next 30 minutes.
Eventually the bar was opened, we got some drinks. The groom, our colleague, passed by to say hi and tell us it was an open bar, so all drinks free etc. however, there seemed to be no food or whatsoever for the evening only guests. Nothing at all. No buffet, finger food, not even crisps (the bar also had no food- just alcohol). That's the last time we have really seen him.
We all have been to weddigns before, and usually some sort of food was provided. We only had a quick meal after leaving work, so we were a bit hungry, but by 10 there was still nothing to eat, and at 11 I just left with my plus 1, as we were tired after 3 hours in a car and we were both fed up and tired and hungry and drinking on empty stomach was just not the thing I wanted to do all night. I know wedding is not all about food, but it just felt bizarre like the whole big group of us was a gigantic fifth wheel.
And here is a question- the couple asked for a) expensive gift from the list (not happening!!!) or b) money into an account that would go towards their deposit. They sent the invite late, so we have not sorted it out before the wedding.
Quite frankly, I'm not sure how much people would pay as a gift usually, but also under circumstances of spending a lot of money to get somewhere only to be able to drink two bears and a glass of wine? How much would people think it's OK?
Maybe I'm being unnecessarily upset, I would not mind being generous if we actually had a good time, but we didn't. Don't want to look like a cheapskate either.