That my DH will be away on my birthday for the second year running?

[Lilacspider]

I'm prepared to be flamed for this, as I know on Mnsnet adults aren't supposed to make a big deal out of birthdays and, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that important. Thing is though, I really enjoy celebrating it. It's in mid-May which is a lovely time of year. DH is on a business trip for the second year running. It's a long trip too, so we won't even get to celebrate it the following weekend.

He knew I was less than thrilled when he was away last year. Genuinely don't know if AIBU to be a bit miffed that he's away again this year, or should I just suck it up?

Get him to book the time off for your birthday in May next year as early as possible, so if he is asked to attend a business conference or another meeting he has reason to say no. Assuming he is not the kind of person who either has not the strength to say no to his boss or is a brown noser.

Yanbu! Birthdays are important.

Yes, the Earth has successfully completed another lap of the sun and is back in the same position it was when you were born. This is far more important to your daily life than your husband doing his job, earning a living, paying the mortgage etc.

Yes, God forbid we should enjoy ourselves too much Lifecraft . Surely the same could be said of most celebrations? Given that way of thinking, we'd never celebrate Christmas or Easter either!

Yep I was too slow out of the blocks this year Forallthesaints that's for sure!

That sounds hard. At least you are getting your own back now Brefugee

I realise it's no big deal really. It's just I'm the one who organises birthdays, Christmas & Easter celebrations, family visits, holidays, and all other events with family and friends and for a sports club we are involved in (and I'm not complaining because I enjoy doing that). On this one day of the year though, I enjoy DH rustling up a present and serving me a slice of cake for once and I'm not ashamed to say I look forward to it. Equally though I appreciate work comes first!

Germans often take the day off work for their birthdays. Even non-significant ones.
Blimey - people here would have an attack of the vapours in my office, I think!

I don't blame you for wanting a nice birthday, OP. I don't usually bother, but I would appreciate the effort.(I've been away - have you had your birthday? how was it?)

I genuinely wouldn't be bothered by this - it's not his fault. As long as he said HB when he got back I'd be fine.

Germans often take the day off work for their birthdays. Even non-significant ones
All of our staff request their birthday as a rest day when the rotas are being made up.

I nearly always take my birthday off, who wants to work on their birthday? I'd feel sad too, we have a recent history of me being away on our wedding anniversary and even though we don't make much fuss it's sad.

I hope he sends you flowers or gin or something nice on the day while he’s away?

My DH has an annual work event that falls to coincide with the nearest weekend to my birthday, and there’s always loads of work to do in the run up so weekday celebrations are a push too. We just carve out the time later, sometimes weeks later, but will go out for dinner or away for a night and it is very definitely for my birthday. I like birthdays. I don’t bother much about presents but it’s loveky to have a night out to mark the occasion.

Another forces wife , birthdays , wedding anniversary’s , emergency hospital visits ( one for me ( bleeding was good during the night meant I missed surgery this time by a whisker! Thank good for friends! one for ds2. His pacemaker needed replacement. We got a phone call at 9am to come in ASAP . The surgery team were waiting for us!! Stressed much😂😂), have even moved house while he’s away 😂
He’s missing your birthday. Life goes on. Enjoy with friends

Well you are bu about the birthday, as you acknowledged, but there is no reason why he can't celebrate your birthday when he gets back. And missed birthdays count double, dont they?
He would bu just to expect you to suck it up and not make it up to you later.

My birthday is a shitty January day and my OH has been away 13/14 birthdays. I've asked him to book leave next year because I was v miserable this year. You have my sympathy

My husband is always at a conference over his birthday. Last year he was away for his 50th. He often misses the kids birthdays too.Sometimes it cannot be helped and sometimes he just does not realise until I point it out. We are all pretty used to it now!

You definitely need an official birthday like the queen. Put it in dh's diary as a joke.

YANBU at all. I have a mid-May bday too and always ask for it as annual leave. We usually go away for a few says as weather often lovely. DH is on Xmas eve and I always make a fuss of his as crap time of year for a bday. Life is for enjoyment and it's lovely to feel special for a day

Yanbu to be miffed that he'll be away given its work, a fun trip would be different, but you do have to suck it up.

I'm another forces brat and my dad was either on exercise, working or tours of duty for most of my birthdays, my mum's birthdays,their anniversary (he barely made the wedding) and a fair few Christmases before his service was up. It sucked, especially when I was little, but it was just the way it was.

Dh used to work away during the week so if borthdays/anniversaries were on weekdays it was pretty much guaranteed he'd miss them. We'd just celebrate on the closest weekend instead.

I'd do as pp suggested and plan something with friends/your dd on the day and then do something with your Dh when he gets home. I would expect him to call you and maybe leave a present with your dd for you or arrange flowers though.