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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to invite him to the wedding?

16 replies

ShinyThings1 · 22/04/2019 13:01

I am getting married in 2 months - a very low key affair, registry office and a pub buffet lunch afterwards. We don't want a lot of fuss, or the big expense of a wedding.

The people invited to the lunch are immediate families, a grandparent, and a few aunts and uncles. Only a few people are coming to the actual ceremony.

Things are mostly straight forward, apart from one thing. One of my sisters has a longterm boyfriend, who basically lives at my parents house. They have been together about three years, and she (my sister) is asking if he can come to the wedding reception.

I don't have an issue with inviting him to this, but my partner is dead against him coming as he doesn't like him personally - just because he finds him annoying. He thinks sister's boyfriend is too much of a yes man, and I think it grates that everyone thinks sister's boyfriend is nice and perfect etc.

It's making things awkward with my sister and I don't know what to do for the best. I don't like DP's aunt as she's a rude woman, but I am putting that to the side as he would like to invite her. AIBU to want to invite sister's boyfriend, or should I respect DP's wishes on this?

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 22/04/2019 13:06

Of course you invite him.

Chamomileteaplease · 22/04/2019 13:13

I think your argument about the aunt is a good one. If you want the boyfriend there and he lives at your parents, it seems kind to invite him.

GemmeFatale · 22/04/2019 13:17

Let him decided. Either only people you both like are invited, in which case he needs to let his aunt know she isn’t welcome, or you agree this perfectly nice family member is invited

LetsSplashMummy · 22/04/2019 13:18

Someone being rude is more reason not to invite than someone being too nice and agreeable. Your DP is insecure about this guy, does your family not like your DP?

I'd get to the roof of it and fix that instead of letting your DPs petty jealousy affect the relationship you have with your sister.

UserName31456789 · 22/04/2019 13:20

YANBU I think he should be invited. Fair enough df isn't going to be best mates with the guy but it's not like he's actually done anything wrong and he's basically family.

Raspberrytruffle · 22/04/2019 13:21

It's your wedding of course op and no one should be forced to invite unwanted guests but I feel it's unfair on your dsis as shes been with him for 3 years and they live together so he is family in a way, I think your dp is coming across as a bit controlling. How will you feel if your dsis goes on to marry her dp and did the same to your dp? I could understand your dp reasoning if dsis boyfriend was a complete dick but from what you have said hes just a bit irritating.i hope you get it sorted and dont cause a family fallout. Good luck with the wedding Wine

Poppyputthekettleon · 22/04/2019 13:23

Very unkind to leave him out considering how long they have been together, sad that your DP doesn't like him because he is 'too nice'

notangelinajolie · 22/04/2019 13:25

Yes he should be invited. Use the Aunt argument.

HBStowe · 22/04/2019 13:43

God yes, he should absolutely be invited!

Chickychoccyegg · 22/04/2019 14:01

It would be quite rude not to invite him, tell dp if he's not invited then neither is rude aunt, your dp is being very unreasonable

KC225 · 22/04/2019 14:22

It seems as if he hasn't done anything major apart from irritating your fiancée. Seriously, if wedding invites were based on an irritation scale - no one would get invited. Invite him, it's your sister boyfriend - they are long term and live together (your mums counts). It would be rude not to. Even its a small ceremony with a lunch afterwards, it will be easy for your fiancée to overlook 'Mr YES MAN nice guy'

Sexnotgender · 22/04/2019 14:26

Of course he should be invited. Your fiancé sounds immature and ridiculous.

Purpleartichoke · 22/04/2019 14:31

You could stick to the technicality that they are not married, but really, he needs to be invited. Make a seating plan for the lunch and place him at the other end of the table.

user1493413286 · 22/04/2019 14:31

Yes he should be invited; I didn’t much like a couple of my guests but they were important to DH.

pinkyredrose · 22/04/2019 14:34

Doesn't bode well for your marriage if your fiance thinks he has final say.

Lizzie48 · 22/04/2019 18:22

Of course you should invite him. It would be rude not to and it doesn’t sound like there’s anything wrong with the chap apart from being a yes man (in your DP’s view).

And I agree that you can use the aunt argument; you’re putting up with his rude aunt so he should suck it up about your sister’s bf.

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