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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DH?

25 replies

MiChocolate · 22/04/2019 11:23

This weekend we have been away from home visiting somewhere he wanted to go and although I've really enjoyed myself, it's been very much 'his' weekend.

All weekend I've been asking on Monday can we visit this place I really want to go for a walk with the dog. It's really beautiful and I'm desperate to go. It's an hour away from our house.

This morning after I've got up he's decided he doesn't want to do what I asked today as we have plenty of beautiful places round the corner from our house. Hasnt he done enough this weekend already etc.

I'm really upset as I've spent all bank holiday away from home because he wanted to go somewhere. I've spent the entire weekend telling him how much I'm looking forward to going to x place today and he's not once said he doesn't want to go.

He has form for saying he will do something and then changing his mind on the day and I'm so annoyed that he can't just do one thing I want to this weekend.

He can't understand why I'm so set on this one place and can't just be happy walking somewhere closer to home. He's right, we do live in a beautiful area but we've done the walks round here 100 times and I've heard about this place and wanted to visit.

Apparently now I've ruined the day because I won't entertain any other ideas. It's not that I'm sulking because I'm not getting my way, I'm annoyed because he's known all weekend this is what I wanted to do today and had agreed to do it and now I'm just expected to go 'oh well, never mind dear, we'll just go where you want instead'.

OP posts:
JoinTheDots · 22/04/2019 11:27

YANBU. Go without him. Enjoy yourself.

FlowersInMotion · 22/04/2019 11:27

YANBU. He sounds like a selfish arse. Can you go without him?

ShawshanksRedemption · 22/04/2019 11:28

Have you said, "we spent the weekend going somewhere you wanted to visit, now I'd like to go somewhere I'd like to"?

To be honest, I'd go on my own if it was me. Nothing worse than going somewhere you're looking forward to with people who don't actually want to be there - it just spoils the experience.

But yes, he's not being very "give and take" on this.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 22/04/2019 11:28

Sod him. Stick to your plan and go without him. Have a lovely time Smile

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 22/04/2019 11:28

Selfish sod. Just go without him.

CoffeeConnoisseur · 22/04/2019 11:31

Go! Just you and the dog.

And use some of the time alone to reflect on the balance of your relationship in general, is this just a one off incident or part of a pattern of him being a selfish wanker?

Treaclesweet · 22/04/2019 11:37

Absolutely go without him. Let him sit at home missing out.

TheViceOfReason · 22/04/2019 11:38

"We've done what YOU wanted to all weekend. You've known all weekend this is the one thing i wanted to do on Monday." You need to work with me here on a bit of give and take."

If he's still being a twat, then go by yourself.

MRex · 22/04/2019 11:40

Yes, as above, point out that you've done his stuff and it's time for him to do your thing. He's being unreasonable.

PCohle · 22/04/2019 11:52

I agree with everyone else. Point out you've done what he wanted all weekend and it's time for a little reciprocity. If he refuses go without him.

julensaor · 22/04/2019 11:57

tell him to get out of bed and do it or you will never ever plan another thing he wants to do again. Give and take and all that.

HBStowe · 22/04/2019 12:04

YANBU, he’s being super selfish. I would leave him at home to sulk and go yourself. Take a nice picnic and have a lovely day with ddog.

steff13 · 22/04/2019 12:09

You said all weekend you've been asking him to go; did he actually say he'd go? If you've been doing what he wants all weekend of course he should go, but maybe he never intended to? Regardless, just go yourself. Leave him at home to do whatever.

Chloemol · 22/04/2019 12:33

So just go then, don't moan about it on here. He can stay at hme

Lazypuppy · 22/04/2019 13:15

Just go on your own

UserName31456789 · 22/04/2019 13:23

YANBU. He doesn't have to understand why you want to go the fact is you do and he promised. He's being selfish.

UserName31456789 · 22/04/2019 13:24

If you go without him I'd also ask him to be getting on with xyz about the house too!

justarandomtricycle · 22/04/2019 13:24

Yanbu. Tell him it's happening anyway as agreed, just as the other trip did because it's what you've been looking forward to, and if he doesn't fix his inconsiderate attitude then he should fully expect that this WILL happen with a trip he is looking forward to in the future.

justarandomtricycle · 22/04/2019 13:25

To be clear, go on your own after telling him this.

RandomMess · 22/04/2019 13:27
Angry
Ratbagcatbag · 22/04/2019 13:27

Agree with others of go on your own, but I also think he's spoilt it for you now too as he's a selfish arse.
Have you explained that you've done all he's wanted to do all weekend and now you'd like him to do something for you?

PCohle · 22/04/2019 13:29

Or let him plan something he really enjoys for the 6 May bank holiday and then announce on the day that you don't fancy it.

BlueMerchant · 22/04/2019 13:30

Got you and the dog sorted and go. Now.

NameChangeNugget · 22/04/2019 13:36

He sounds like a bell end.

Just go

Sculpin · 22/04/2019 13:38

How can you ask?! Of course YANBU.

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