To not know what surname to take when we marry?

[tipOver]

This is very much first world problems and pretty light hearted, but I am wondering what to do. DP and I are engaged now, and I've been wondering what surname I should take. I've always wanted to take on a spouse's surname as I have a very boring and common one that I hate, so that's not the issue.

DP has a double barrel surname, he's half Colombian and from what he said the tradition there is to use both partners' surnames. So he's . It's a nice name. But I can't help feeling that it's odd to take on a double barrel surname where neither names are actually mine! I don't know where this feeling comes from, I know it's silly and tbh this is probably the route I'll go down. Although the tradition is about joining the couples' surnames, so me just taking theirs wouldn't follow the tradition would it? Aaa confusing.

The other options would be to take just one name. And really, the surname I like is the lovely sounding Colombian one , however that's from future MIL's side and her and DP's relationship is not great. Also, that would feel like snubbing future FIL somehow.

For reference, DP doesn't give much of a toss but wouldn't go for only his DM's family's name, I'm certain of that.

So please can wise Mumsnet give me some advice? I expect IABU for thinking about it so much (and rambling on)!! But AIBU to not know what name to take, and WWYD? Thanks!

If you have no attachment to your name just take DPs as it is

Keep your own name.

It’s funny how men never appear to hate their birth names and be very keen on their fiancée’s as an alternative.

Keep your own. Agree that men never angst about their "boring" names - which was, presumably, your dad's?

Keep your own!!!

It’s funny how men never appear to hate their birth names and be very keen on their fiancée’s as an alternative

Quite. Men don't give the issue a second thought; neither should you.

The one man I know (slightly) who could not wait to change his name to his wife's on marriage had the surname Gay.

I was previously married, changed my surname to dh's first name when we got engaged! So my name is first name +dh's first name but not his second name. Didn't want connections to ils by taking his surname!

Is the Colombian tradition like the Spanish one? Don’t married couples keep their own double barrelled name but pass one each on their DC in Spain? Not sure which one they pass on, though.

Thanks for the replies!
The majority of the advice seems to be keep my old surname, which I do understand. DP suggested that too and that he'd take it as well. I suppose it is an option, the main reason I dislike the idea is because I want my name to be distinguishable from other people in terms of a career setting. That sounds pretty silly when I type it out! My first name isn't common at all (in my generation) so maybe I should consider it more.
VaggieMight I don't know for sure, but I assume you would just use the first surname of each partner? So if we followed the tradition, I would become tipOver . I'll ask him but he probably won't know, he's thoroughly uninterested in that kind of thing

Are you likely to have children, whom will be named with his surnames?

Millicent Martha I would've thought that too, but I know for certain his dad has both surnames. Honestly I might be completely misinformed on this tradition, I'm just going off of what DP has said. Please nobody take this as fact haha!

Chocmallows We plan on not having kids, neither of us are keen on the idea at all. If we did, presumably we would just give them whatever surname we shared. Personally I really would prefer that we have the same surname, even if that ends up being mine.

I kept my own name when we got married. DH couldn't care less, but it pisses MIL off no end.
All the better to do it

Flip of a coin if you cannot decide between you?

Isn't this the Spanish/Latin American tradition where the child/person has the surname of mum and dad and the parents pick either one of their own surnames to give to the child so they too have two from each parent.

If you want to keep your surname then keep it op, I was like you I hated my surname as it was incredibly unusual and was the bain of my life so I took dh surname. If I'd liked my surname I'd of considered double barreling it

In the Spanish language naming tradition, everyone has two surnames, one from the mother and one from the father. When they have children, the custom is for them to have two surnames, usually the paternal one from each side. So, for example, Ana Diaz Castro (her father is Diaz and her mother is Castro) marries Roberto Rodriguez Martinez (his father is Rodriguez and his mother is Martinez). Ana does not change her surnames to Rodriguez Martinez. Their children would be for example, Laura Diaz Rodriguez and Juan Diaz Rodriguez.

The problem comes when you try to adapt that to English language naming traditions. So I think it is fine to do whatever you want to do, but keeping your own name would actually be in line with the Spanish language naming traditions.

Sorry, in the above example, the children would be Laura Rodriguez Diaz and Juan Rodriguez Diaz. The name taken from the father's side is usually first.

SenecaFalls Thank you for the explanation!! That definitely seems to be what DP was trying to explain. It's definitely a nice tradition. Maybe I was wrong about future FIL's surname...
I'll ask them directly next time I see them, they'll be much better informed than DP about all this