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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or are my parents utterly rubbish?

3 replies

Adultchild · 21/04/2019 18:52

Diff name to avoid identification.

So last year I suffered a spinal injury and slipped discs in my neck. I'm awaiting surgery this year and my condition has deteriorated with the wait on NHS.

This Friday I was suffering a great deal with pain and numbness and called 111. They sent an ambulance and I ended up in hospital while they did scans etc.

I'm 37, live alone and my parents are fully aware of the situation.

My mother (61) lives with her husband in Egypt most of the year (and is atm) but my father (65) is only two hours away. My only other immediate family is my brother who lives in Italy.

I messaged my Mum to say I was in hospital and her reply was "for gods sake, what have you done now?" Followed by a load of stuff about taking Egyptian family out for the day.

My dad was initially "oh no, keep me updated". I spoke to him on the sat and he offered to come over, but in a very passive aggressive "it'll take me 2 hours" sort of way. I felt guilty and said no come tomorrow (Sun).

This morning I get more exclaimations from mother infering I'm a calamity and sending me videos of the beach and her chocolate. And my dad sends me a message saying his hip hurts and he is resting up. Which is of course inferring he won't come and visit me.

I found myself utterly furious. I was in hospital, on a catheter and drip, not sure if I needed an operation on my back. And my parents dither!

AIBU to expect a little more care and affection?!

I know, it may BU at 37, but I felt awful having to rely on friends for help and support.

Luckily they discharged me today with a follow up with neurology next week. Response from parents? Zilch.

Grrr.

OP posts:
Cutcrease · 21/04/2019 18:56

YANBU. So sorry you’ve had such a disinterested and unfeeling response from your parents. YANBU for expecting and hoping for better. I really hope your follow up appointment is helpful. Even mild back and neck pain are so miserable. You sound in such a lot of pain you poor thing. Flowers

IcecreamCustard · 21/04/2019 19:39

YANBU if its any consolation I am a similar age, live alone, went to the doctor, sent to A&E, response from DM was that it's terribly inconvenient, I am doing xyz, then I did end up having surgery that day...she did turn up and feign concern. DF went on holiday for two weeks throughout the whole thing.

Sorry you've experienced that, but glad you had some friends you could rely on and are back home now. Hope you get some answers at your appointment love Flowers

livefornaps · 21/04/2019 19:43

Yeah that's really shit. Never go out of your way for them again. Utterly self,-involvef

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