what is reasonable

[OldAndWornOut]

In terms of homework for an eleven year old, please?

Enforcing completion, or pointing out that time is running out and telling him not to start causing a scene the night before he's due back at school?

DD is only 7 and I've always suggested/advised homework done at start of hol/ weekend. I guess at 11 you can only tell them that he'll have to deal with consequences from school if he doesn't do it and you'll be supporting them 100%, then point out homework is important to long term success and a good job/ uni, but fwiw I think holiday homework is pretty crap for primary kids!

Set aside a specific period of time to do it and hand in whatever is completed.

Plan time for it. So e.g. if you're going out for lunch and the afternoon, tell him he's doing homework for an hour first. Agree which homework it will be and what you expect him to have done before you go. Definitely don't leave it all until Sunday afternoon, but also I wouldn't expect him to do some every day. Decide in advance with him when it'll be done and then remind him and check.

He was sent home with a huge booklet of work to do, with the recommendation that he does some each day.

It's too much, as far as I'm concerned, but I don't want him to fall behind with it.
Just sick of everything needing to turn into an argument before he does it.

Is it just obstinance or is there a reason behind tit (too difficult/doesn't understand it). Either way I always refused to have MY family time impinged upon and it went back (a) with the comment Child refused to do HW and I would stand by any punishment meted out (b) child didn't understand it.

I got sick of evenings of tears and tantrums, because that particular school was too inept to offer any SEN help.

I think its just laziness, to be honest.
Things are rather difficult here at times, to be honest.

Its my grandson, who lives with me, and I'm a bit out of my depth.