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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

think i might be pregnant but also feel just paranoid. please help

35 replies

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 14:46

I'm only 16 but I've heard of this site and thought it would be a good place to ask.

Had sex for the first time on 20th January. Was my first time and haven't had sex since either. We did it for a few seconds several times but then he put a condom on and we did it properly. I've heard you can get pregnant from what we did before. I was also spending time with him the night before and was very drunk and I think there's a possibility we had sex that night which I can't remember. I remember us kissing and touching each other but then passed out. I don't mean this to sound accusing of him but I may have woken up and stuff happened? I don't want to ask him, but if it did happen I don't know if it was protected or not.

I panicked afterwards and took a pregnancy test a week after to put my mind at rest. It was one that said it worked before a missed period and it came up negative but I read online that it was still too early for it to be accurate. However soon after I got my period so figured I was out of the woods. I've had monthly periods since and am due a period in a few days. However my mum (she doesn't know any of this) once told me that her and 2 of her sister's all had periods throughout their first trimesters. I look it up and it's called decidual bleeding? What's making me suspect is that I've felt very off the past few weeks. I've been needing to go to sleep at 7pmish and will sleep until 10 the next day. My skin has been hideous and I've been gaining weight. About 1 stone since I had sex. I haven't been eating more than usal. I saw this thing online that was like a stomach exam to feel is there is a baby there at 12 weeks and I think I feel something but I might be paranoid?

Can somone with experience please help? Don't want to buy another test just randomly yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:02

Bump

OP posts:

aibutohavethisusername · 21/04/2019 15:15

Can you make a Dr appointment to put your mind at rest?

Passthecherrycoke · 21/04/2019 15:18

Tbh the chances of you being pregnant are
Miniscule. Take another pregnancy test if you’re really worrying but I’m sure you won’t be. You sound unreasonably anxious though

PurpleDaisies · 21/04/2019 15:20

You’re highly unlikely to be pregnant.

You say you passed out and he might have had sex with you? You know you can’t consent to ex if you’re unconscious?

TeaForTheWin · 21/04/2019 15:29

A stone in 3 months?! Have you been stress eating? I mean that's a lot to gain in a few months.

A pregnancy test would definitely show up as pregnant now, if you are.

But might be wise to see a doc, for the weight gain alone. Make an appointment and get yourself a wee chat with a doc.

Also, if you actually think this boy might have slept with you when you were drunk/passed out, then that is NOT ok and if you were passed out....!!!!! I would make a point of never speaking to him again tbh.

Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:32

the weight gain has been freaking me out. I lost a stone last year when i was depressed which i wanted to keep of but didnt want to lose anymore so have been calorie counting. have been strict about eating 1800 cals a day which is meant to maintain and is have been working until the past few months.

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Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:34

*it has been working.

I dont think he slept with me when i was passed out as i feel like id have felt sore or something and woken up. Im more thinking i woke up and we had sex consensually and then i fell asleep again?

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Secretlifeofme · 21/04/2019 15:35

Have you taken any more pregnancy tests since?

Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:38

secretlifeofme no. i'd go out and buy one but there's not a shop within walking distance and the bus into town is down at the moment so would need to ask my mum for a lift. which is why i'd rather work out if in just being stupid for i decide to buy one

OP posts:

Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:38

*before i decide to buy one. sorry for typos

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Passthecherrycoke · 21/04/2019 15:38

Tbh I think you are being a silly. But nothing is going to put your mind at rest until you test

PregnantSea · 21/04/2019 15:41

It's extremely unlikely that you are pregnant. Please go to see your doctor asap to discuss this issue as your sudden weight gain, fatigue and skin problems may be a sign of something else that needs to be addressed. They will also be able to do a blood test to confirm with certainty whether or not you are actually pregnant

EverybodySayHumph · 21/04/2019 15:44

You can get pregnancy tests in pound shops or for free at the Dr's. Also at GUM/sexual health clinics.

Might be worth being tested for STDs too if you had unprotected penetration.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 15:44

First thing to do is to take another test and see what it says. If you are pregnant you don't have to stay pregnant if you don't want to, you have options but you can't access any of those options until you know the result.

Secondly, you need to make an appointment with your GP and sort out some proper contraception. They'll be able to talk you through the options and help you decide which one is best. The contraception will reduce your risk of pregnancy but do still use condoms every time you have sex to reduce your risk of STDs. If you think the possibility of a positive pregnancy test is scary, consider how you'd feel if you were waiting for the results of an HIV test.

Finally, ditch the boyfriend. He sounds like a real piece of shit, touching you up and possibly-maybe having sex with you while you were too drunk to properly consent? That's not someone you want to be friends with let alone as a sexual partner.

EverybodySayHumph · 21/04/2019 15:45

And you are NOT being silly. You are taking good care of your health and body by making 100% sure so ignore previous posters.

TeaForTheWin · 21/04/2019 15:46

You need to find out now, no more waiting about. I mean IF you were pregnant you would be 3-4 months gone already, getting close to the time where abortion would no longer be a possibility. So time to get yourself checked.

How about telling your mum you have been feeling off lately and you are worried that you have put the stone you took off back on again in a short space of time and wouldn't mind speaking to a dietitian so you are going to see a doctor first - for a recommendation. That way she doesn't know you are going for a pregnancy test.

Maybe talking to a dietitian would help too :)

Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:47

ewitsahooman i haven't worried too much about stds as he said he got tested a month before we had sex as his girlfriend had been cheating on him. Maybe I should look into it though. No need to ditch him as they got back together soon afterwards anyway

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Original poster

user2838282 · 21/04/2019 15:50

TeaForTheWin that is a good idea actually, thank you. I just dont want to stress her out with all this if it turns out to be nothing as she has a lot of other things to deal with atm.

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CardsforKittens · 21/04/2019 15:57

Yeah, talk to your mum. You’re probably not pregnant but it’s a good idea to take a test.

I don’t know what your mum is like, but I’m a mum of a 16 year old girl and if she was worried about being pregnant I’d want to offer support. It’s shit to go through that alone.

Also, I wanted to agree with what others have said about sex and consent. And that’s also something you shouldn’t have to deal with alone.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 16:00

Unless you know for absolute certain that someone is 100% clean don't ever just take their word for it. There are young men the world over who will tell you whatever it is you want to hear if they think they're going to get sex out of it.

Ilovemysleepthief · 21/04/2019 16:01

You need to test again to know for sure

HIVpos · 21/04/2019 21:17

Whilst I don’t agree with the word “clean” - very stigmatising to those of us living with HIV apart from the fact I shower regularly! Ewits has a point. Unfortunately some people say whatever if they think sex is on the cards. He might have tested clear a month previous, but also might have had sex since then. Also many STIs have window periods where a recent infection might not show up on a test for a few weeks.

Best thing to do is, as soon as you are able, get another pregnancy test. You can get it done at a GUM clinic and have a chat with them. They will help with STI testing and any contraception you might want - even free condoms. Don’t be nervous about going to one - they’ve seen it all before...and much more. If anything they will respect the fact you are looking after your sexual health.

Can’t really advise on the Wright gain and skin problems, except that over winter both these things can happen due to less activity/eating more, and heated houses etc.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 21:30

Whilst I don’t agree with the word “clean” - very stigmatising to those of us living with HIV apart from the fact I shower regularly!

I apologise, no offence was intended That was actually supposed to say clear rather than clean

HIVpos · 21/04/2019 21:35

No offence taken Ewits, but thank you 🙏 I just try to point this sort of thing out/correct any misinformation when I come across it.

Original poster

user2838282 · 22/04/2019 18:06

i ordered a test on amazon prime last night and it has just arrived. feel too scared to take it because its either going to show me as a massive idiot or it will be positive...

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