Guests negativity is draining me

[NegativityWipeout]

More of a WWYD.
NC and I hate lazy journalism!

My usually lovely friend has come to stay for the long weekend as we are both without our DC this weekend.

I feel as though I’ve seen a whole new side to her since her arrival and I’m currently sitting in my car having had to escape for a while “as was running low on coffee”

She has been so negative about absolutely everything, not in a CF way but just in a drainingly negative way.
Laughing about her other good friends new business venture.
Being really nasty about her exPILs who supply full time free childcare and seem like nice people.
Delighting in the failings and misfortune of her coworkers.
Sneering at happy things in my life, the holiday I booked was too expensive she could have gotten it for half the price, when I try to move on from it she keeps going on about it.
I’m a mug for helping friend A with her garden, something I enjoy.
Giddily discussing silly plans to “get one over” on people I hadn’t even heard of before.
Little comments like “they saw you coming” and “more fool you” about nothing things that I enjoy like baking cakes for DC activity which I don’t bring up but have weekly shopping and to do list thing on fridge.

It seems rude to address her behavior on a whole and argumentative to pull her up on every comment.

WWYD?

I'd broach it carefully. Try ' are you ok? You seem down about everything and it's not usually like you. Is something bothering you???

Don't let it fester.

Addressing it when I got back (when she immediately produced her WhatsApp to show me her ex husbands last online, which apparently means he was out on the razz the previous night and lots of sniggers about how the new gf won’t be happy with that) didn’t go well at all, she insinuated that I’m the one with the one who’s not myself and told me “You 👏🏼 Have To 👏🏼 Cut The 👏🏼 Apron Strings!” -claps included. She made out I’m missing DC and in bad form, need to lighten up.

Things were “atmospheric” for a while but we were invited to a neighbor/friend of mine for a bit of bbq food and wine. Old friend was back and we had a good laugh, she was charming to everyone. Walking home in great spirits, she was actually complimentary about the people she had met, the food, their house but then said “makes you wonder though, how are WE single and SHE has HIM” about my lovely neighbor and her husband. I’ve had enough now. I aired my disgust, not argumentatively but again I need to lighten up, I’m so tightly wound

I can’t wait for her departure tomorrow. She won’t be staying again.
Thanks for replies

Nothing more you can do then . She doesn't think she's in the wrong . Never invite her to stay again .

There's a reason she falls out with everyone.

Once she goes tomorrow send her a message and tell her she's not welcome back. She sounds awful.

People use defence mechanisms when they're unhappy. Your friend sounds like she could do with finding out why she needs to put other people down to lift herself up.

If she's usually lovely, maybe say something like 'You seem to be in a really bad mood at the moment. Is there something wrong?' If there is something in particular wrong, you might thereby get to the bottom of it; if not, it would make her more aware of how she's coming across right now.

Can she not fuck off tonight?

She sounds poisonous. Bad for your soul to associate with people like her. I would let that friendship die.

Has she gone, OP? Did you say anything in the end?

I had a friend a bit like that, though not as bad I have to say. Your friend sounds much more unpleasant.

She criticised nearly everybody. And she got "through" people too ...

I also began to think she must criticise me to others and wondered what she said! I didn't really trust her with v personal stuff, and anyway she wasn't interested !!!!!

She was great fun for about 45 minutes, then I would start to feel drained. She talked about herself a lot: her family, her job, her holidays, her dating. It was interesting and entertaining at times, but it was just also too much. If I had a dilemma or problem to discuss, it would be responded with by one-sentence answers!

Once I said to her, unable to keep quiet any longer, was it possible she could listen to me for a second? Like your friend, she got quite angry and defensive, and told me she most definitely had !

She could be entertaining, she was smart and sometimes v funny, and had some deeper aspects. Our friendship cooled though as I got fed up with her, and now I don't hear from her. I do miss her a bit actually. But I couldn't stick her for longer than a day. Maybe thats the solution? But I think she does sound very rude to you, and who needs that? I'd pick her up on it every time! Without getting angry though, is the key. The pointed MN "did you mean that to sound so rude kind-of-thing. But if she's that awful, I don't know its worth it ...

Oh god she sounds like hard work and an utter nightmare, don't have her over again.