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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL drama

37 replies

Inferiorbeing · 21/04/2019 13:11

MIL just phoned to say dinner was ready. We live an hour away and had no idea we were eating at hers today, we were out last night until 3am (which she knows and she was at the same event as us!) So have had only a few hours sleep.

She is now upset that I don't want to go to hers and is saying she cooked all the food and we are wasting it.

AIBU to think you don't just cook food and get upset when people cant suddenly come over?! We don't have anything planned today but we easily could have considering its Easter Sunday and we were happy to just spend a day relaxing after last night. Apparently it's all our fault for ruining her day?

(We have seen her 3 times this week and she has never mentioned lunch today)

OP posts:
Original poster
Inferiorbeing · 21/04/2019 17:03

Well DH has finally gotten through to her we will not be going to see her today! She has now suggested tomorrow, which is fine and we'll go then.. she's also upset at DBil for not going either?! I think DH will have to explain that we actually need a heads up when she thinks we should be at hers...

OP posts:
itstheweekend2 · 21/04/2019 17:35

Is MIL controlling ? DH sounds a bit of a Mummy's boy if he visits her 3 times a week when she lives an hour away.

PregnantSea · 21/04/2019 17:39

This is very weird. Is she ok? It makes it seem like something has happened that she isn't telling you...

If she has form for this then just ignore her, she's being silly. She'll eventually learn not to do things like this.

Katyy · 21/04/2019 17:47

I think it's an age thing, how old is she ?.My mum makes a birthday cake 5 or 6 times a year, even though we've told her not to. It's a joke now as soon as she's gone home, it goes in the bin. Just tell her you'd already eaten,

Original poster
Inferiorbeing · 21/04/2019 18:02

Dh is 100% a mummy's boy, he has to go to the town she lives in 3 times a week for boxing anyway so always visits before/after.
Shes in her 50s but is unable to work so is basically retired and I think she gets very bored. She has always relied a lot on DH and I think it shows when she does things like this.
I think she just wants us to be always be there, she doesn't seem to get how we have our own lives too.

OP posts:
itstheweekend2 · 21/04/2019 18:11

Yes I see. I think you are being really understanding , she must be scared of loosing you both and being alone . As long as she doesn't get too demanding - as a young couple you need to be able to live your own lives. xxx

Original poster
Inferiorbeing · 21/04/2019 18:31

Thank you! I'm glad to hear it doesn't just come across as we aren't being fair to her. DH spoke to her and we've rescheduled for tomorrow now so that she can keep the food and just reheat it and it doesn't go to waste

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NoSauce · 21/04/2019 18:34

What reason did she give for making your dinner? Has she lost the plot or what?

Are you sure she didn’t tell DH?

itstheweekend2 · 21/04/2019 18:57

Great, is DBil going too? He can help by supporting with MIl's emotional needs as well, so she is not solely relying on you and DH.

Singlenotsingle · 21/04/2019 19:02

Have you counted her marbles recently? Is she missing any? Confused

Original poster
Inferiorbeing · 21/04/2019 19:16

She just fancied making us all a roast dinner apparently! He insists that she didnt and she hasn't said at any point she did so I doubt it.
DBil is a waste of space unfortunately so even if he said he's showing up it's unlikely that he will!

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 21/04/2019 19:29

There's a thread on here about what to do with left over roast lamb. Maybe you can send her some ideas 😉

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