To think my friend isn’t a friend?

6 replies

TigersRoll · 21/04/2019 11:11

Friend has a lot of drama in her life and tells me about it constantly. It’s reoccuring bloke trouble, some of it self inflicted regarding multiple blokes.
I listen, I talk, I advise ... hours and hours of listening to it, phone calls, text messages, meet ups to discuss it etc etc

I’ve noticed whenever I have something to talk about, she laughs and changes the subject back to her own dramas. Some of mine have been quite serious and traumatic, she makes the right noises but it goes a bit like this:

“Aww no Tigers, that’s awful ... aww ... but what do you think I should do about this bloke?”

AIBU to give up on the friendship and distance myself?

OP posts:

CareBear50 · 21/04/2019 11:21

She's not a friend. She's using you. You could tell her how you feel and see if things change.....or just go LC or NC with her. The question you need to ask yourself is what do you get out of the friendship? Good luck

magicstar1 · 21/04/2019 11:24

Yep, I had one like that. My brother was in my house one night and when I finished on the phone he said “Caroline?” I asked how he knew, and he said it was because I hadn’t really spoken in 45 minutes...it was all about her. I also used to go to her house every week and make all the effort. I just stopped contact and didn’t even miss her at all.

KC225 · 21/04/2019 11:27

Read the thread about people who talk too much. So much about people who use you as sounding boards and and know little about what is going in in your life? Do you really have the time to take in all the drama for nothing in return.

gettingimpatient222 · 21/04/2019 11:30

Yep I've got one of these too. Lovely girl but all about herself. I will literally get essay length texts about her dramas or feelings and an obligatory 'how are you' which she isn't truly interested in because she then turns the conversation back to herself. Pretty funny in some ways but irritating as arse when I've got something I want to talk about.

LeilaDarling · 21/04/2019 12:08

Hi KC225, how do I find that thread? Thank you x

RussellSprout · 21/04/2019 13:32

I had one of these. She was with an abusive boyfriend, I spent literally hours listening to her woes, holding her hand when she left him only to see her go back to him repeatedly. Eventually she did leave him... I had some problems of my own a while later and she did. not. want. to. know.

Crunch came when she asked what my partner thought and I said, I think he's sick of me going on about it and she said 'yeah, i'm with him on that'.

We are no longer friends. I saw the light that she was a selfish, inconsiderate, using twat.

Flip