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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not see books as a status symbol?

40 replies

Floosey · 20/04/2019 20:47

We have a huge range of books for DS(8) from baby books he wants to keep to adult encyclopedias (he prefers non-fiction) and everything in between. We read everyday and his current bed time book is Lord of The Rings. He's a happy and confident reader with free access to books.

However, DH and I have very few books. DH dislikes reading (although he reads with DS) and my epilepsy meds affect my concentration and make it difficult for me to read. I used to be a big reader though. We also have a small house and would rather dedicate what space we have for books to DS. Neither of us are sentimental about books and pass them on when we're done with them. DH does have a few of his course books from uni.

As DS has free access to books at home and with trips to the library I don't feel he is missing out.

But people seem to look down their noses at people who haven't got wall to ceiling bookcases in every room. I sometimes read things on here which suggest that people with large book collections (even if they haven't read most of them) think they are superior to those who don't keep books. Or that someone with more books in their house is more intelligent just by them being there, like osmosis or something.

AIBU to disagree with this? Having access to books and reading is obviously hugely important but the more books you have doesn't make you a better person.

OP posts:

StillCoughingandLaughing · 20/04/2019 20:50

But people seem to look down their noses at people who haven't got wall to ceiling bookcases in every room.

Really? In the age of the Kindle?

EdWinchester · 20/04/2019 20:52

I wouldn't even notice the number of books in anyone's home.

We have a huge amount - too many. But they're in our study and in bookshelves in our upstairs hallways. Most visitors don't even go into these rooms. Pretty sure no-one judges me for a perceived lack of books on show.

bungaloid · 20/04/2019 20:53

I think it can be an interesting visual reflection of your interests, in the same way a music or film collection can be.
I wouldn't get worked up about how others perceive it, that's a general good rule in life.

CheshireChat · 20/04/2019 20:54

The vast majority of my books are on my iPad and until recently most of my other ones were still abroad.

It looks like only DS reads in this house, but that's not actually the case. If someone is daft enough to judge me for not having my books on display then they're unlikely to be interesting enough to have a conversation with me .

Purpleartichoke · 20/04/2019 20:57

Prior to e-books being readily available, I did find it odd when people did not line their rooms with bookshelves. Now that we have an infinite library in a single device, we gave started packing up our physical books. Even my young daughter uses a kindle paper white at this point.

Passthecherrycoke · 20/04/2019 20:57

I don’t agree as I’ve spent nearly 10 years using kindle and not buying books. I’ve gone from hundreds to a handful. My children have books as they’re too young to read but I can’t imagine they’ll have any when they’re teenagers

cocodash · 20/04/2019 20:59

I don't have a single book in my house..... However I have about 200 on my kindle

Michaelbaubles · 20/04/2019 21:00

I’m an English teacher, I read all the time and I used to own lots of books. But after getting a kindle and reading Marie Kondo I got rid of a lot. I still buy plenty (often second hand) and use the library regularly, but I just have one full height bookcase in a room not really used for visitors, one upstairs with some children’s books on, and both DC have bookshelves in their room. My day to day reading books are piled by my bed. So anyone visiting might not see any books at all. They’d be very wrong if they jumped to any conclusions about me from that though!

brizzlemint · 20/04/2019 21:01

I would certainly notice the bookshelves in a house because I'm a voracious reader but I wouldn't notice the absence of them IYSWIM.
If I'm sitting near a bookshelf then I have to look at the books, I can't help myself.

People coming here would think we just have two small bookshelves as that's all they would see but if they went in the dining room they'd see floor to ceiling bookshelves with books belonging to the DCs and old books of mine most of which haven't been touched in years as well as a bookshelf of books that I use for work.

Bluntness100 · 20/04/2019 21:02

I have also seen this on here, it's very odd. Like thr mumsnet chicken that feeds a family of four for a week.

For some reason there is a small minority of people who can't comprehend that books can be held electronically or in closed door bookshelves.

apparantly,, if they aren't on display to these people, you don't have them and you're some form of ignoramous..the irony being completely lost.🤣

mbosnz · 20/04/2019 21:02

We got ride of I don't know how many books before coming over. We still have boxes and boxes of them in storage. We only have two bookcases of them here.

What matters is a love of reading, and reading. And I can't imagine judging someone on the amount of books in their house - how odd! (Although I love having a squiz at a person's bookshelf if they have one - ours is mostly taken up with cookbooks and Terry Pratchett, lol. And Kiwiana).

Hoplittlebunnies · 20/04/2019 21:04

I am an avid reader and have a tiny book collection. I very rarely read a book twice, so once I've finished it (unless it's a very special book for some reason) I try to think of someone I know who would enjoy it and give it to them.

I would never judge anyone by how many books they read. I'm married to a man who has probably never read a book as an adult. His interests are different to mine and that's fine.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 20/04/2019 21:08

Anyone coming into our house would think only my 2 year old reads and sadly they'd be right. DP is dyslexic and prefers short articles and I used to adore reading have hundreds of books stored away but since having DS my attention span just isn't sufficie to get through a book. I get a few pages in and I'm fidgeting to do something else. I do however read lots online and read to DS everyday.

MT2017 · 20/04/2019 21:11

I love our bookshelves, my granddad used to work for Penguin books so we have a lot of books which I will never get rid of!

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 20/04/2019 21:20

I’ve used a Kindle for many years but even before that I didn’t have loads of books in the house, despite reading a lot. That’s because I only very occasionally read a book more than once.

I had a shelf in my home office where i kept a few books - some work ones, some non fiction, and a few fictions but that’s it.

AngelaJ18 · 20/04/2019 21:21

I would notice bookshelves, purely because I’m always looking out for something new to read. I used to have a seven foot bookcase absolutely stuffed with books but living in a two bed flat I’ve had to downsize and most of my books have been transferred to my kindle. The bookcase doesn’t fit in the living room & the spare room is now a nursery so the books had to go!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 20/04/2019 21:25

The only books kept downstairs in our house our cookbooks and some encyclopedias.... All our fiction, children books, history etc are upstairs. Judging on visible books seems rather narrow-minded to me. And that's not including e books.

claraschu · 20/04/2019 21:26

I like having lots of books in our living room. I think they make it feel cosy, and they are interesting to look at. I like old things in general, and things which have a story behind them, including the books on our shelves.
Most people would think our house is cluttered, but to me it is comfortable and welcoming and intriguing.

longearedbat · 20/04/2019 21:33

I have hundreds of books I've read on my kindle, but we also have two bookcases full of books. I collect a certain type of book, and I also love all my cookery books (well, nearly all). Where would I be without Mary Berry's Book of Cakes? (Complete with its cake mix marked pages).
I don't judge when people don't have actual physical books. I do judge when someone says they never read books at all though, especially if it's said with a note of pride.

tttigress · 20/04/2019 21:36

Maybe about 15-20 years ago, I supposed it might have been seen as a status symbol to have some intellectual books displayed, and I have a friend now that buys a lonely planet guide for every place she has been and prominently displays it.

Personally I have switched to audio books, and have chucked most of my books.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 20/04/2019 21:40

I’ve read loads of threads on here about how ‘sad’ people are that other homes are not filled with books.

I love reading. I read maybe 2 books a week and normally have two on the go. But I almost exclusively read on my kindle. It has a light and I don’t often get to read in the day. Plus it’s lighter so if I want to read something lengthy I don’t have to hold a heavy book.

If I had a massive house I’d probably have loads of books because I like the way it looks and I agree it makes a room feel cozy. But it does irritate me, this status thing about books.

mustdrinkwaternotwine · 20/04/2019 21:41

Even 15-20yrs ago, a lack of visible bookcases downstairs didn't mean that someone didn't have books. I remember my parents commenting about a family friends' lack of books ... it took me a while to
realise that they had never been upstairs and seen the separate library whereas I saw that on most visits as I mainly hung around with my friend in her bedroom.

MillicentMartha · 20/04/2019 21:44

I’ve got a load of trashy sci-fi/fantasy books hiding in a cupboard and quite a few in my shed waiting to go to a charity shop. Now I’ve got a kindle I don’t buy many books. My reading taste isn’t posh, leather bound classics or any books that would impress anyone so I don’t see any need to put them on display. They’re sort of crammed into a cupboard with doors on my landing. Mostly David Gemmell or Robert Jordan or Isaac Asimov and the like. I don’t care. Reading is for pleasure imo, not to impress your mates.

Justajot · 20/04/2019 21:46

We have a lot of books. I really don't notice whether other people do or don't. If I think about my friends' houses, we do have a lot more than them, but I have to visualise their houses to work that out.

Books really don't indicate whether someone reads. I've read very few non-children's books since DD1 was born. I mostly read news online and MN. DD1 has lots of books she hasn't read, whereas some of her peers get a lot of books from the library. So book ownership can be misleading, even without kindles.

My PIL do judge the amount of books we own - apparently there aren't enough as they don't line every room, stacked 2 deep on each shelf. I see the quantity of books they own as a burden.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/04/2019 21:48

Prior to the kindle I had lots of books but they weren't on display as I hate clutter.

Now I have hardly any. The kindle saves the page, doesn't waste paper and doesn't need recycling when I've read it. Much better for the environment and I can have hundreds taking up no space or gathering dust.

Only on MN have I seen people say they check other people's homes for books but like another poster said it's also Home of the mythical chicken that feeds millions for a week so I just take with a pinch of salt.

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