To not go to this funeral

[Ohgodtheresaspider]

Can’t decide if im being unreasonable or not in this situation so looking for opinions.
A while back my aunts ex husband passed away after a short battle with lung cancer. He was my aunts ex husband who have been split for atleast 15 years if not more.
In the past 15 years I had very little to do with him although my younger brother did still keep contact due to a mutual hobby. The funeral was over 100 miles away from where I live so I couldn’t just pop in for a couple of hours would need all day & I have very little childcare, only my parents who went to the funeral so I had nobody to care for dd3.
My parents passed on my condolences to his new partner explaining why I wasn’t there which was all fine. I have since discovered my younger brother is fuming over me not going, saying how disrespectful it was I didn’t attend & I should be ashamed. Aibu to think that it’s not a big deal that I didn’t go & my brother is confusing his relationship with aunts ex husband to my own?

Your brother is daft.

Not unreasonable at all. I have no intention of going to the funeral of my recently deceased uncle's ex-wife, a woman I haven't seen in decades when the time comes despite her being my cousin's mother.

How did you discover your brother was fuming? Did he have the balls to tell you to your face?

Your brother is a dick.

I'm Irish. We tend to go to funerals of people who are much more loosely connected than British people do, and I wouldn't have gone.

I think you were perfectly reasonable not to go and your brother is being a bit of an arse.
Just ignore him he has forgotten you don't have the relationship he did with this ex relative. I presume he didn't have child care problems.

Iv found out from my mum when Iv commented Iv not seen much of him recently as we are usually friendly. The only times i had seen aunts ex had been at various events of my brothers such as his wedding. I think he’s forgot that I didn’t have the relationship he did with him.

No double no childcare issues he doesn’t have children

I wouldn’t have gone in those circumstances either. Maybe if it had been local, but 100 miles for someone you hadn’t seen in 15 years? Not practical or sensible.

Grief is a funny thing I'm sure he will come around

I wouldn't have gone. I have no intention of going to my ex uncles funeral, despite the fact he is the dad of my cousin who I'm very close to. Nice enough man, I've seen him twice in the last 20 years, and although obvs I'll be sorry when he passes away, I won't be hoiking myself across 4 counties to his funeral.