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To hold a pity party for one (or three)

1 reply

YukoandHiro · 20/04/2019 17:46

My daughter (20mths) has just got over her fourth d&v bug in six weeks and has given it to me - it's a cracker with a cough and aches thrown in for good measure. She was ill for a week.
Tomorrow is me and DH's first wedding anniversary we had really nice plans, with grandparents taking dd for the day. Now obviously cancelled as I'm in bed.
Our wedding last year was amazing, but our honeymoon was spent in hospital with both daughter (then 8 months) and DH down with rotavirus - even tho we got her vaccinated.
Since she started nursery last summer it's been illness after illness and me and OH have gone down with one in two of them.
Also we had a major family bereavement this year so we're all busy, tired, emotionally drained and constantly ill.
We were considering another child but I don't see how we'd cope.
Does it ever get better? And can I throw a pity party that my damn anniversary is now ruined as well as everything else by constant toddler illness felling the family? I can't remember the last time I felt WELL

OP posts:
lastnightthemooncame · 20/04/2019 19:47

Sorry to hear you're feeling awful, Yoko&Hiro. I have struggled with quite a heavy depression for the last couple of years, never ending infections, a violent incident, had one date & then got harassed & threatened by the bloke/Police involvement, not long before had bereavement involving suicide, split up with partner, & it ended badly with threats, fear, leaving home town to move somewhere I don't know anyone in order to feel safe. Mates lost in process too.
I was then caring for parent with terminal illness to the end, no one to support me at funeral, & I've only been out/met up with a work mate friend/socialized once in the last 8 months.
I'm very isolated & long for some friends or company.

What changed my own pity party, which I felt entitled to, I'll admit! Was going to a support group & hearing/witnessing the horrors that people go through every day. One had just lost their Mum to suicide.
At the meeting, people made themselves totally vulnerable & there was lots of upset & despair, even.
But there was an invisible wave of support flowing between people.

I cried for my own losses, my beloved parent in particular, seeing his pain, & all the horrors of the last few years.

I also cried for their losses of these folk I'd never met before.
some people may appear to be 'living wonderful lives'. And some of course are. But I was able to truly understand the pain that many are going through. I stopped seeing myself as any different, & I felt united in the struggle of all of us.
Please take (what may seem counter intuitive) strength from finding we all have truly experience awful things at times, & you are not alone in that. Take care, I really hope & wish for you that life will get better.

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