So known and been with DP for 18 months, have discussed moving in and so on, not yet but in a year or so time, I have a house rented out, out of town/seafront, 15 minute drive, next to supermarket, nature reserve, saving rent to finalise the house, when I wish to move into it. So enough to do all I want to bring it up to my standard of living.
We agreed DP likes house, area, the fact it close to my mum, and 15 minute drive to airport, good transport locations, hour to London via train, in south east, no mortgage, just bills, agreed he would be willing to move here and see how it goes, and he would look into jobs in the area to get experience before heading to London big city (ATT/ACCA) and is 30 minutes drive back to his area, family. Has even discussed what he would like to do to house, in contributing to increasing value and kitchen, outside office for his family business and when he becomes self employed hopefully as accountant.
DP situation He owns farm with Sibling, and newly built house, and owns his own cottage, a lot of work is required and is very small, would need extension, and I wouldn’t be allowed any views or adding value to it, as it part of family business/farm. Was absolutely looking into what rent income he could received and how he would go about explaining and telling sibling his wishes. How he wouldn’t be happy if sibling didn’t let him keep full rental income, in my mind we discussed this and he was confident and wanted and expressed in many ways he happy to move in with me, I didn’t say forever.
DP has now changed tune saying he doesn’t wish to leave farm, and that if he gets money he will be extended the cottage and making the much need alterations, shocked isn’t the word! Pretty devastated, knowing my mental health he was expecting my health and friends and the fact it busy and stuff to do no isolation, I cant drive far, that he feels out of nowhere he can lump this on me, and where do we go from here, he knew from quite early on I wouldn’t enjoy living on the farm and would become unhealthy. I stayed there when he worked 13 hours shifts and yes I can rest, cook watch tv but internet rubbish, can walk but roads aren’t great and only people are his step mum, sibling and family.
AIBU to think DP can not just change his mind after intensive discussions of how we would work it, and he would do all these things, all this was after latest grandparent died , since going to a meeting with sibling to sort out grandparents probate, everything changed, got bad feeling, sibling has changed his mind???