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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you say something about an overdressed baby?

22 replies

JagerPlease · 20/04/2019 15:53

Out for lunch today. It's 24 degrees and although inside, I was verging on uncomfortable in a vest top and jeans.

At another table are two women and baby, who I would guess was 3-4 months old. Women dressed similarly to me, but the baby is in a full outfit, plus coat, wooly hat and was then tucked under a blanket in the pram.

Now I remember being taught that a baby should wear one more layer than you, but that it didn't apply when it was so warm that you were only wearing clothes because as an adult you kind of have to if you want to leave the house.

The baby didn't seem bothered, but I couldn't help but imagine how hot it must have been.

In the end I didn't say anything because I decided it was on the side of things I don't agree with but not necessarily putting a child directly in danger. WIBU? Would you have said something or should I mind my own business more?

OP posts:

HappyDinosaur · 20/04/2019 15:56

It sounds quite a few layers, but you don't know what the baby is used to or whether it's particularly sensitive to cold for some reason so I wouldn't say anything. Also everyone is different, 24 degrees is not that hot to me, I definitely still need a cardi and would be cold in a vest top!

Cbatothinkofaname · 20/04/2019 15:57

I suspect if the baby was too hot it would have cried, fussed or made that known somehow.
I’m not sure what you could possibly say, anyway?

Babyroobs · 20/04/2019 15:58

Some cultures seem to over dress their babies. I see it a lot in the city I live in. Not sure whether I'd say anything unless the baby looked visibly distressed/ overheating etc.

Sexnotgender · 20/04/2019 15:59

Overheating is so dangerous in babies, it’s a risk factor for SIDS.

CupcakeDrama · 20/04/2019 16:03

I keep seeing in summer people covering their babies pram with blankets to protect them from the sun. So putting a blanket over the hood and it draping down fully covering the baby but I read that its really bad to do and makes it very hot underneath but so many people do it, I wouldnt say anything to anyone

Dotty1970 · 20/04/2019 16:05

What would you have actually said?

clandestinenetwork · 20/04/2019 16:06

I agree the baby sounds overdressed, but I honestly cannot imagine how a stranger would go about broaching this with the parents...? Disastrous.

Cheby · 20/04/2019 16:09

While I can’t imagine saying anything myself, plenty of random strangers felt it was perfectly acceptable to give me parenting advice on the street when mine were babies, so you wouldn’t be alone in doing it.

CupcakeDrama · 20/04/2019 16:12

Thats true Cheby I had it the other way, people in winter constantly commenting on my baby not wearing a hat. She wouldnt keep the damn thing on!

PregnantSea · 20/04/2019 16:12

You were right not to say anything. It's none of your business. There's a chance that you're right and the baby was a bit overdressed, but the baby wasn't visibly in distress, and there could be other stuff going on that you don't know about. Unless something very dangerous is happening then it's best to assume that the mum knows better than a random passerby.

My baby would definitely be dressed like that on this occasion because my baby is being raised in a very hot tropical climate and the UK "heatwave" would be by far the coldest temperature that she had ever been exposed to. I myself would probably have been wearing a coat as well, to the horror of everyone around me I was raised in the UK but I've gotten used to the heat over here very quickly and now I don't cope well with the UK climate when I visit. Even the summer feels bloody cold to me.

Keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal · 20/04/2019 16:12

In that situation id have thought the same as you but wouldn't have had the guts to say anything to a stranger.
When DS was a baby we had the opposite problem, he was and still is such a hot child, all the time! Even in the coldest part of winter he would have been sweating in the outfit you describe the baby had on today.
No one (except my mum ) ever commented on how cold he must be without a coat etc but I'd have found it borderline rude of a stranger to mention it to me, hence me not having the guts to do the same.

DonkeyHohtay · 20/04/2019 16:21

We took our oldest to Southern Spain one May when he was about 10 months old. It was about 22C. He was in trousers and a cotton top. No jacket in the afternoon.

I was constantly getting evil looks from older Seville ladies in their coats, scarves and hats, pushing their grandchildren snuggly wrapped up in their snowsuits.

Amanduh · 20/04/2019 16:24

Uncomfortable inside when it’s 24 outside in a vest top? Ok then.
Either way, their child. Anything could be happening you don’t know about. And if you made that comment to me, I’d tell you to fuck off 😂

Gottalovesummer · 20/04/2019 16:25

It's a hard one. Babies can quickly overheat and they can't regulate their temperate like adults can.

I would have struck up a conversation maybe, admiring the baby, then maybe saying ooh is baby hot do you think? It's roasting outside.

Parents can choose to ignore you but you've said something at least.

NoKnit · 20/04/2019 16:43

You don't know how old the baby was. It is extremely hot in the womb and that is what they are used to.

24c isn't that hot. If its hot enough for you to wear just a bikini then a small baby doesn't need a hat. 24c is not bikini weather.

You were right to keep your nose out, what good would have come from saying something anyway.

Yogagirl123 · 20/04/2019 16:49

Why do it get the feeling, your advice would not have been appreciated, however well meaning. I wouldn’t interfere, mum knows best as far as I am concerned.

Original poster

JagerPlease · 20/04/2019 17:17

Mixed views then! 24 degrees is definitely hot to me, I would (and have) comfortably sat by a pool in a bikini in that weather!

In that case I'm glad I didn't say anything, just makes me wonder if the "one layer more than you" advice gets taken too literally.

OP posts:

Carnivorenomore · 20/04/2019 17:19

I was really hoping this thread was about a baby in a tuxedo or evening gown

yolofish · 20/04/2019 17:21

I wouldnt have dared say anything OP, but I'm having it the other way round at the moment, living by the beach. Always a sea breeze to take the edge off the heat but the sun is still so powerful, and I still see so many little fair/red headed children running around semi-naked - it worries me seeing that white skin so exposed, and the wind means you wouldnt notice them getting too hot so they just burn instead. Tbf, you do see more these days in those sun protection suits - which mine were practically the only kids wearing 20 years ago!

Siameasy · 20/04/2019 17:40

It sounds a bit much but I wouldn’t comment either. I’ve received several comments - either when I used the baby carrier “too hot?” or about no coat or hat in the cold and have always found them rude and misplaced.

lasttimeround · 20/04/2019 17:42

Hot country I am from babies are wrapped up in multiple layers. No idea why but they seem fine

dandylion89 · 23/04/2026 08:58

I stumbled onto this thread and realise it’s been years since you posted this question @JagerPlease but I totally agree with you. 24 C is hot, especially for babies used to British weather, and if it were a humid/muggy day it might even feel hotter. I hope that child made it to their school years because you’re right, that is way too many layers and babies should never have a hat on indoors. Contrary to what a lot of folks think, new babies don’t actually fuss when they overheat, they just get drowsy and silent. That’s why it’s so dangerous and contributes to incidents of SIDS.

I would have felt sick with anxiety about butting in, but as a mum myself I know that we don’t come with built-in how-to guides and often rely on our wider networks, family and community for information and advice. So no, mum doesn’t always know best.

If anyone else stumbles into this thread like I did, I’d encourage you to say something. It’ll be awkward, but think of it this way- if your advice isn’t appreciated, the worst case scenario is that the mum is annoyed (won’t be first time nor the last and she’ll get over it). And even if she tells you to mind your own business, it’ll plant the idea that maybe she should rethink the layers.

If you don’t say anything, the worst case scenario is actually far more dire- the child could die or become very unwell if its parents are consistently putting it at risk of overheating. Chances are if it’s too bundled up during the daytime, it’s being overdressed for sleep as well. Isn’t potentially saving a child’s life worth coming across as a nosy witch sometimes?

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