Father in laws birthday

[Frightenedbunny]

Today is a milestone birthday for my father in law. No one organised anything for him. I have made suggestions for last few months as to ways we could celebrate. All got dismissed as I was told he didn’t want to do anything. Yesterday mother in law came around to ask us about going out for a meal then said they would come back to us with a plan. At 10am this morning I got a call asking me if I would mind doing dinner. I’m not that bothered as fil does a lot for us but my husband is currently out of work and money is tight. We have four dc’s, one of which is just getting over chicken pox. I now find myself frantically cleaning the house and preparing a meal. Dh has a sister who lives alone with no kids and is minted. She isn’t doing anything and hadn’t offered in anyway. I wouldn’t mind but 10 years ago I did a surprise party for another milestone birthday. It cost me a fortune and sis in law offered no contribution towards it. I don’t want to feel aggrieved as father in law is wonderful but I just don’t really have money or time to have this thrown on me. 😩

Ask the SIL to bring a starter to share or dessert

Blimey. Did you ask your mil for help and a contribution or to come over and babysit? Does she know money’s tight?
I would message your sil with specific things you need-2 White 2 red and a bottle of gin, for example.

So why didn't you say you'd be willing to cook but everyone has to chip in £X?

Why don't you ask your DH to ask his sister to help out and bring along some desert or wine or other drinks?
you sound so lovely OP to have agreed to take this on! good luck! x

You got caught on the hop. As previous op has said, be specific to sil what you want her to bring to ease the work and tell everyone else what their monetary contribution is.

Thanks all. I was just a little aggrieved earlier when sil never offered once again to do anything. She’s notoriously stingy ha! Never asked her to contribute, I would have thought she would have volunteered knowing our circumstances but hey ho! Weather was lovely so we ate in the garden. Father in law is so lovely he deserved it. We hadn’t bought him anything special because of finances being tight so it’s the least I could do. No point in wasting my time stressing about it or the unfairness of it all. I just need to remember not to expect anything from sil!

Look, you have to ASK! It's no good expecting people to offer, especially if they're tight as a tick anyway. ASK ffs!

Ha! I don’t mind asking but we always get the tumble weed response! Would rather not ask when it makes you feel awkward. Dh & I always laugh at her delayed response when we ask her to do things for us! You can see her mind ticking looking for excuses as to why she can’t help us! Good job I’ve got lovely in laws!!

Just ask for the money!

“Hi SIL. Don’t forget our family get together next Saturday. Would you like to bring a dessert or a starter. Can’t wait to see you!”