To spend every day counting down the hours until bed time ?

[howtofacenanotherday]

I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety a few months ago . Was suicidal then - not now . But I’m at the stage where everything seems completely meaningless and pointless . Why bother doing anything , when we are all going to die eventually anyway? I just feel like it’s filling time until your turn .

I’ve put on a lot of weight so I’ve no energy , I’ve had to move home to my parents so I’ve no choices or independence . No real income anymore .

Family have suggested going to college and learning how to be a carer but I have a degree , lots of work experience , I grew up being a carer unfortunately and zero desire to carry on with it , paid or not.

I’ve never felt so empty and unhappy and useless . GP has said anti depressants aren’t the answer but exercise might be .

That sounds really hard. It's the depression do be gentle with yourself. Set yourself a few gentle daily tasks eg brushing teeth, showering. A short walk. Cosy up with a book or a favourite TV series. Buy some good quality food. Rest and recover. Go out for a coffee. If you have some decent friends speak to someone or go and see them. Sit in the sun.
Ask your family to just give you a break for a month or two before the what are your plans conversations. Don't get pushed into being a carer. Or anything else.
If its crowded at home find somewhere you can hide out. The library, local park.
Why does gp advise against anti depressants? Could be really helpful give you some breathing space from your feelings of despair and pointless ness.
You are I'll so try to get signed off sick. Could help you financially if you have some income to give you a chance to regroup.
Theres mental health section on here. You arent alone. Bullying yourself into being more productive might be unhelpful and make your anxiety spike.
It can be horrible but it does end and suddenly things feel better again

No experience but maybe try small steps as suggested. Maybe try a walk once a day

Oh and ask for a referral and information on local support services. It can really help to go to a support group and some areas have places where you can get involved in something yo the extent you're able to. Helps you see you arent alone and give you some perspective on your options and that you are ill especially if family pressuring you to just get on with it.

I think this is why religion was invented!
But even if you're right, you may as well fill the time until you die with things you enjoy doing, or things which help other people. Could this be why family have suggested you train to do caring work?
If you don't want to be a carer,and who could blame you, you've already done that, there are lots of things you could do, either paid or voluntary, which would contribute to society in some way, so that your time here is of value, and which might make you feel useful.
Exercise is a great idea, if you can motivate yourself to do it. Maybe your G P can prescribe a course of something - yoga, or some sort of regular class? I know my GP s will refer patients to exercise classes, which is great if you are experiencing financial difficulties.I think it also helps with motivation.
You don't have to solve all these issues immediately, maybe pick one or two to focus on, and hopefully the sense of achievement will encourage you to tackle the rest, a step at a time.
You're not alone, I think a lot of people struggle to find a sense of purpose, and there's clearly a history here. If you grew up being a carer, your own childhood and development may well have been impacted. Maybe there are issues around that that it might be helpful to address in counselling?

When you were younger what kind of exercise did you enjoy?

I agree with the walk a day I do that and eventually I got a dog to make me do it and it really does make a difference. The other thing that is starting to get scientific interest as it has been proven to work is cold water swimming and it’s a good time of year to start doing it as the water is starting to get warmer so you don’t have to be a complete hard nut. I always feel a million times better after an outdoor swim.

Good luck 💐

I didn’t really do exercise when I was younger - have dyspraxia so was laughed at a lot when I tried . Stopped doing PE at age 13 and haven’t ever done anything like it since - swimming a couple of times and I used to walk a lot for work but nothing now . I can manage around the block sometimes if I’m not too anxious .

It’s very strange feel like my head is split into hundreds of bits and can’t get the right places to communicate with each other .

I was brought up religious (Catholic) but haven’t gone to church for a normal mass in years , last time I went to church was my granda’s funeral last summer . Couple if friends vaguely follow Buddhist sort of principles though .

Think family are just a total loss of what to do with me . I couldn’t really afford to go to college right now . Have left uni on a years sabbatical so still get next months student loan then no money/no income , I’m not sure what happens then , how I pay for stuff .

GP surgery have sent me for some sort of counselling but it’s a six month wait - nothing else here as very rural area . There is some sort of animal therapy scheme but you need to be referred by mental health hospital or a social worker , neither of which I have any involvement with .

The thing with swimming, especially outdoors, you don't actually have to swim. Half the time I just enjoy lolling in the water, I float really well on my back so if they did waterproof books I would be there for hours. I can swim, I'm actually a fairly strong swimmer but am very happy just bobbing about.

Don't swim alone though for safety especially wild swimming as the currents can be unpredictable.