People talking about us having another baby

[anonforthespies43267]

Just this! I haven’t even given birth to our first yet!

Then telling me when I should have our second as I’m 31 (oh god so old)!

AIBU or can everyone just piss off.

We have full careers/jobs, a nice life, stable financially and a happy marriage. Let us see how we get on with 1 first please 🙄

Oh I hated that. And when I sat down to feed my newborn I got "you won't be able to do that with your second." Wtf, my first is like a week old?

A big part of motherhood is every man and his dog sticking their nose into your private business, telling you what to do and judging every decision that you make. It's such a joy

I keep getting asked this as I just had our first - she was a surprise miracle in my early 40s! Much as we are delighted we will not be having another one despite every single person asking me🙄

It is also presumed that I will give up my career because I’m older - what is that all about?? Apparently I can’t send them to nursery as it took us so long to have them🤔

Oh and everyone presumes they were made by IVF & I must have had a c section - genuinely I have no idea why people make all these odd assumptions / comments!

Oh, it doesn't get any better either. We struggled to conceive our second. I could have cried every time someone said to me "You need to get on with having another"

I had people asking if we have started trying for the second one or are we thinking of having a second child when DS was 2 months old. I found the question really irritating. I still do (DS is 6 months now).
I was fed up saying 'we will see' and just started saying 'no, he will be an only child'. I had then all the 'awww, but whyyy? Children are joy. Definitely reconsider.'
Umm, i don't know let's see. We are sleep deprived. Tired. We have no one to help. And frankly i don't think my mental health will survive, nevermind our marriage.

Everyone can piss off, OP.

It's a sore subject as you can see

Congrats on your pregnancy.

Reply with ‘your happy to do discuss our sex life - how is yours?’

I get this all the time. DS has just turned 2, and we have no plans for a second. Whenever I say this, all I get is 'oh give it a few years and you'll change your mind'
I've always said I only wanted one DC. I hated pregnancy, due to having everything possible, then a horrendous enduced labour where we nearly lost DS.
I've started telling people to mind their own business now, they soon stop asking!

It never ends. When you have your first you get ‘when are you going to try for the second’ and so on. I have two boys so you can imagine the stupid comments I get. ‘When are you going to try for a girl’? Like I can order one from Tesco. I don’t want a third baby, boy or girl! I’m very happy with my two thanks.

Ohh ignore, ignore, ignore, and ask them instead! I have two girls, pregnant with twin boys and also have taken in my 16 year old sister. People ask me all the time, "how many are you gonna have? 10?!" just because I'm about to have four + my sister!! I have half a mind to next time I'm gonna answer "as many as my poor vagina lets through"

I still get this. Even though my kids are teenagers but because I’ve only been married two years people assume we are going to have more children!

I have two boys so you can imagine the stupid comments I get

I have 3...I actually had people passing on their sympathies when Ds3 was born

We found out ds3’s sex at the 20 week scan (as we did with all of them).

When told it was a boy, one memorable comment from a work colleague was ‘Oh no! I bet you wish you hadn’t bothered now eh?’.

Everyone can definitely piss off. My biggest hate is "are you going to keep trying for a girl?" I've had 3 boys. Pretty sure it's luck of the draw what comes out and I don't want an army of children, boys or girls!

It's infuriating! I've had is almost 4 years now since dd was born 'you'll regret having one, Susan said she does' 'are you trying for a second? She needs a brother or sister' and when I mentioned a job I was interested in my grandmas response was ' why bother? It's bad enough you don't look after the one you've got, you'll need to be at home with 2'.

I have no issues with dd being in nursery, she loves it, I like my job, dd was a shit sleeper and we're only just getting past that.... I honestly don't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant again- are they going to start asking when we'll have a third? Because I'd rather get a dog...

DD is 8 months and I get this all the time so you're not alone. I have horrible PND and PNA following a traumatic birth and fuck all support with my poorly newborn. I appreciate I shouldnt expect support but I certainly didnt expect life to be made harder. I've had this several times and I'm not even back from mat leave yet. The other day my MIL said that she wouldn't be asking when we would have another (that's big of you when you've already asked several times). Each time we put away something DD has grown out of theres a chorus of just store it 'For the next one'. No doubt we will have another but I would like to heal and love this one first

Same. We had first, when were we having the second. Because the first was a boy we must want a girl next. Had the second child, another boy, when are we trying for a girl. Honestly pregnancy appears to be an open invitation for everyone to share their thoughts, experiences and opinions. Not all of which are helpful 😂

Not just me then 😂 the best comment was “you’re too stingy to have a second’ when I explained we can comfortably afford one with childcare & not impact our standard of living to much so we’ll see how we get on.

I just tell people outright now that I had a difficult pregnancy then pre eclampsia and an induction and I'm not risking putting myself through all that again.

People make all sorts of comments though, the one that annoyed/upset me most when I was pregnant was that in work I made it clear I'd not be taking a years maternity leave, I'd be coming back and wouldn't be dropping hours then overheard a colleague saying I'd feel differently once the baby was here - I'd have loved to have taken a year off then come back part time but it was absolutely impossible financially as she well knew because we'd discussed it as she'd not long come back from maternity leave herself.

It’s so annoying. My first baby’s birth was pretty horrendous and left me with ptsd. The amount of people that knew this and yet asked me when I would be having another (when my baby was weeks old) was ridiculous.

YABVVVVU - did you not know it was up to everyone else to decide what's best for you and your family..??!!

Get engaged - when's the wedding
Get married - when are you having kids.
Have a child - when's the next one....

It's absolutely not your right to plan your life as you see fit when every Tom, dick and Harry has an opinion, and their opinion is, of course, the right one!!!!

(Walks off shaking head at the audacity of some people to think they could make any decisions about their family without the input of every bugger else)