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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Maintance payments

18 replies

Justanothernamechange3 · 20/04/2019 11:50

Exdp was due to pay maintance yesterday, however he hasn't. I was going to message him today asking why it hasn't gone in, but I wasn't sure if that was ok.
I've gone through cms and they say to wait 5 days then inform them so I'm not sure what to do.

OP posts:
ArnoldBee · 20/04/2019 11:52

Depends how it's paid as yesterday was a bank holiday. If it's a DD it may be delayed.

winepls · 20/04/2019 11:53

I would definitely message. Is it usually done directly from his bank to yours, so bank transfer?

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 20/04/2019 11:54

If he does the bank transfer then possibly ask but if it’s a standing order or other type of automatic transfer I would wait until Tuesday as these types of payments can be delayed by the bank holidays.

Pppppppp1234 · 20/04/2019 11:56

Just message him and ask, ‘Hi, hope your having an nice Easter weekend. Just a quick one was expecting X’s child maintenance yesterday, just wondered if it was delayed because of the bank holiday? Thanks’

Justanothernamechange3 · 20/04/2019 11:56

I did think about the bank holiday, but he pays via transfer, so it shouldn't be affected.

OP posts:
Pppppppp1234 · 20/04/2019 11:57

Standing orders also don’t go out on bank holidays so most likely it will be Tuesday

Pppppppp1234 · 20/04/2019 11:57

I’d imagine it’s standing order, all ours due out yesterday to savings etc didn’t go and will go out on Tuesday

CupcakeDrama · 20/04/2019 11:59

I think as it was only
due yesterday you should wait until tuesday. Its only 1 day late..

Justanothernamechange3 · 20/04/2019 12:00

No he definitely transfers it as it goes in at different times of the day every week.
If it was a standing order it comes out just after midnight.

OP posts:
Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 20/04/2019 12:01

As yesterday and Monday are Bank Holidays I'd actually give it until Wednesday as transfers and everything will be slow until they reopen properly in Tuesday.

BarbedBloom · 20/04/2019 12:03

It could be the bank holiday. I paid my rent yesterday and there was a notice on the screen that quick payments and direct debits could be delayed due to Easter

Justanothernamechange3 · 20/04/2019 14:56

Well I messaged him! What a bloody mistake that was, he replied politely to my text saying it may be because of the bank holiday, but he did send the payment yesterday. I told him it's not a problem and I will wait and see what happend on Tuesday and said to have a nice weekend, trying my best to be cordial.
I've now had a barrage of messages, telling me I've been keeping the dc away from him as I haven't called him once in over a month to ask if he's seeing them. I didn't have his new number, which is a long story so I've not been able to contact him.
The only reason I've now got it is because he called me this week asking to see the dcs knowing we were on holiday Hmm

OP posts:
BingandFlop2019 · 20/04/2019 17:09

Why do you have to 'ask' him if he wants to see his kids?! Why couldn't he contact you?! Idiot! X

eve34 · 20/04/2019 19:31

I would get Cms to deal with the money side of things. I know when you are struggling it is hard. I have had to make a few changes so I am no longer dependent on ex money. Although things are tight. I can get by without it fortunately as he is now not working.

As for contact that is for him to arrange. You are not a mind reader. He either steps up to a routine. Or notifies you of his availability.

Justanothernamechange3 · 21/04/2019 02:01

@BingandFlop2019 because that's what he expects me to do, run around after him begging him to see the dcs so it makes him feel better about himself. I have no time for it.

@eve34 I've only been with cms 5 weeks and this is the first payment he's missed, I don't usually rely on his money, however the dcs have robbed me blind this week Grin and I was a little short, it's no big issue I've got plenty of food in and was only going to use what he gives me to take them cinema on Monday but it will have to wait until next week.

OP posts:
eve34 · 21/04/2019 08:25

@Justanothernamechange3 sounds like you have got yourself sorted. Cms get bad press and although it took them 3 months to sort the deduction of earnings. They did keep the arrears mounting. And now ex has lost his job. So will keep a tally of money outstanding. You have got to just keep on top of them.

Enjoy the rest of your easter break. If you have a vue near you Monday is £4 each any film.

TheInvestigator · 21/04/2019 08:27

You need to give it 5 working days before CMS will do anything, not just 5 days. So usually a week but with the Easter weekend Its even longer.

Indie139 · 21/04/2019 17:06

My daughters dad didnt pay his first payment on time and cms said to wait 5 days but it would take upto 2 weeks i think to switch over to collect and pay (where they take money automatically from him). I didnt want to contact him direct as hes very argumentative and rude all the time. He did eventually make a payment (double what i was expecting) but because i has already collect and pay from the next month onwards theyve been taking the money automatically from him and then paying it to me around the 21st of each month. I prefer it this way as i dont have to worry about possibly chasing him every month

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