I would really appreciate some opinions on whether IABU from wise Mumsnetters as I am so fed up about this situation and genuinely don't know if an being U or not.
So for context I have one sibling DB and I have two DC who are in their teens. DB no children or long term partner. I have quite a difficult relationship with my DM who suffers badly from anxiety but refuses to take any medication for it as she "doesn't believe in taking tablet". That's a whole other thread! She is also a very argumentative and shouty type of person and can be very full on. Convinced that her opinion via the only one that matters etc. My Dad is a much easier going person but very much under the thumb and tends not to stand up to her. I am more like my dad in personally fairly easy going and quiet.
Anyway, before I had my first child it was a family tradition that me and DB would go down for a few days over Xmas and Easter, they live about 5 hours travelling time away. They would never come to us as DMs anxiety and agoraphobia meant this would be too difficult. Once I had my first child 15 years ago my DM said that it was all too stressful and she couldn't host us over holidays anymore but if we wanted to come down and stay in a hotel they would contribute to costs. They do have a big 5 bed house so wasn't to do with lack of room. At the time I said totally understand etc. I suffer from anxiety myself at times and hosting us stressful. I did feel a bit sad that I wouldn't be going to stay at my original family home anymore but hoped we could sort something out. ANYWAY, shortly after this I heard that my DB was still invited over the holidays because "otherwise he would be on his own". He has huge circle of friends and always on holiday! So that's how things have stayed over the past 15 years. DB goes to see parents at Xmas and Easter, we spend them on our own, my partner's parents have died and no other family so it's just us. We see my parents once per year in summer, (it's got to be a date when DB isn't planning to visit) we stay in a B and B.
The whole situation makes me feel really sad especially when it comes to times like now when families get together.
Part of me would like to tell my parents how hurtful this whole thing is and have it out with them. My OH says I should just forget it as last thing we need is a big family row. Parents are good in other ways always send presents to DC, birthday cards etc. But I still feel sad about it all.
Sorry that was long!