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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Date being overly affectionate

40 replies

MollyPolli · 20/04/2019 09:15

Hello,
I have been on two dates with someone I met through OLD. He seems very sweet and is the perfect gentleman, letting me choose where we should eat and insisting on paying, etc which is lovely. Also hasn't talked about sex which makes a refreshing change.

Some things are really concerning me though and putting me off. When we are on our date he tells me a few times how beautiful I am and how much he's enjoying spending time with me. Its lovely but sort of creeps me out. Then at the end of both dates, while waiting for our respective trains, he tells me how much he's enjoyed spending time with me and can't wait to do it again. Also at the end of the second date, he said 'love you' Shock This was as I was getting on my train and I texted him and asked him if I misheard or he said that and he confirmed he had. I then text back and said he was going way too fast and that really freaked me out. He apologised and said because it was only his second real relationship, his first one was very long term and emotionallt abusive, he's a bit over excited and was very apologetic. Apart from those things, he would probably make a great partner lol. He wants to take me on another date so he can show me how he really can be and has promised to tone it all down but I don't know what to do now.

OP posts:
Zoeputthatdown · 20/04/2019 10:22

You don't have to see him ever again if you found him too intense.

I would give him a chance to dial it down because he may just be nervous, (still taking the usual sensible precautions in early ).

Zoeputthatdown · 20/04/2019 10:25

Early dating, that should say.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 20/04/2019 10:27

give him a few weeks before binning him off

If he's referring to it as a "relationship" and dropping the L bomb after only 2 dates can you imagine how clingy and intense he's going to be after a few weeks? He'll be devestated! The OP needs to end it now for both their sales.

sirmione16 · 20/04/2019 10:27

That sort of intensity is like a shaken bottle of soda waiting to explode in my mind

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 20/04/2019 10:27

FFS, sakes not sales.

Jozen · 20/04/2019 10:28

I agree with 0ccamsRazor, you could be anyone OP. He can't love you as he doesn't know you. He loves the idea of being in a relationship regardless of the person.
You're worth more than that OP, find someone who takes the time to get to know you properly.

AnnaMagnani · 20/04/2019 10:34

Have just told my DH that the only thing he had going for him was that he was nice to me and didn't pester me for sex Wink

If he has other things going for him - you have other things in common - then I'd give it a bit longer and maybe that he is a bit clueless.

But if not and you really do find him creepy then he has to go.

Dodie66 · 20/04/2019 10:48

Sounds like he is being reasonable, perhaps he doesn’t kenos how to relate after being in an abusive relationship. As he has said he will be different I would give it longer.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 20/04/2019 10:58

Also at the end of the second date, he said 'love you'
ShockShockShock

Ruuuuuuuuuuun

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 20/04/2019 11:05

If you told a man you loved him on the second date would you expect to see him again? No, you'd expect him to run a mile, delete your number and never contact you again. I do think it's sad that the bar is set so low for men that anyone who is "nice" to you on a date is deemed deserving of a second chance after behaving so inappropriately.

Zucker · 21/04/2019 16:49

This was only yesterday? Yet today you're in a hotel room with him and wondering how you're going to get away?

SmileEachDay · 21/04/2019 20:06

What, Zucker??

AsleepAllDay · 21/04/2019 20:09

Yuck! Ghost him

Yesicancancan · 21/04/2019 20:21

Marry him, he’s clearly a keeper Hmm

NorthernKnickers · 21/04/2019 21:51

@SmileEachDay read her thread from today...I'll try to link but I'm not very technical, so apologies if it doesn't work 😳

How to let him down? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3565452-How-to-let-him-down

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