There's was a spider on me!!! A huge spider!!

[cricketmum84]

So kids and DH have gone to bed. I'm up with a G&T watching some crap about reality tv.

Went to the loo and thought there was one of those little moths fluttering on my lacy dress. Looked again and realised IT WAS A SPIDER. A FUCKING MASSIVE HUGE GINORMOUS SPIDER!

It was so big that then I brushed it off with the loo roll I had ready in my hand it actually made a noise when it hit the floor.

WIBU to burn my house down???

I came to sympathise op. I remember mouthing soundlessly to a girl in the gym changing room at school that there was a hand size fucker on her shoulder. She nearly had a stroke.

If this happened to me I would still be screaming.

Best part of this story is: now you KNOW spiders are harmless.
You are living proof of that.
Next time gently remove it & chuck it out a window.

I don’t love spiders but most of the time we live together in relative harmony, as long as they stay where they should be.

One night though, I put my nighty on and looked in the bathroom mirror to clean my teeth and there was a giant fucker just sitting on my throat. It had probably been in my nighty and transferred when I put it on.

I almost threw myself down the stairs in my attempt to get it off.

I went to bed last night, layed down and heard a noise! There was a fooking wasp in my pillow case!!!!!

You win @Fartymcnarty

I would have burned the bedroom down if that happened to me! I'm going to nurture the house spiders so they become lean mean wasp killing machines. As long as they stay away from my face.

I wish you had got a picture!
Spiders are cute. I love them.

Two instances stand out. As a kid. Threw on the dressing gown and ambled down the stairs. Mammy was opening the door to let the cats in. She looked at me, let out a blood curdling scream and legged it out the house. Didn't care to tell me their was a massive fook on my shoulder.

Again a kid although slightly older. Sitting in a nightie on my friends floor watching telly. Felt a tickle on my leg. Looked down. Massive yoke casually ambling up said leg. I think I legit hit the ceiling with the jump.

As a child I remember seeing something out of the corner of my eye galloping across the floor right next to where I was sitting. I thought it was a mouse but it was the biggest spider I'd ever seen in my life. It didn't even go on me, just right next to me and I still remember it with utter revulsion and horror 40 years later!

So no I think it's fine to burn your house down or at the very least incinerate your dress.

I’m not bothered by them but i’ve Seen some giant ones lately. Trey should be paying me rent with the size of them. DH is petrified of spiders so it’s lucky i’m not as i’m The one trapping the bigger whilst he screams ‘catch it catch it fluffy....eeek....get him!’

We had a giant one living in the lounge during autumn. He used to run between under the chair to under the sofa and back most nights. I swear it was so big you could hear it's footsteps.

We named him Steve and had no flies in the house. Also he stayed out of our way and never ever attempted to climb my dress. I think me and the new spider need to lay down some house rules!!

Oh my God this reminds me of my near death experience.

I had a sticky face mask on, the ones you satisfyingly peel off. It was newly put on so at prime stick level. I went to get something under the sink and felt a hair brush across my cheek... odd I thought? My hair was tied up and in a bun... said hair then proceeded to crawl across my fucking face. Well, on the assumption my hair hadn't sprouted legs I could only assume it was an eight legged beast trying to crawl up my nose and murder me. Queue lots of screaming, me headbutting the worktop in complete fear and almost knocking myself out & clawing furiously at my face completely ruining the effect of the face mask.

My only mistake was not dousing myself in petrol and setting myself and the house alight.

I'm traumatised from it.

@StormcloakNord omg I would have actually died!
Am laughing at the mental images from that story though sorry 😂😍

@stormcloaknord I am crying laughing at that. You poor thing - that would freak me out too and I’ve trained myself not to be scared of them.

OMG, OP, biggest sympathies.

When I was about 12, I was harmlessly reading 'Moonraker' and a massive brown spider ran up my arm - I have never spider-danced so hard or so long - it was headed for my up sleeve :-O

I still feel a bit sick whenever I see the book. I should really have burned it. The book, not the spider

I am now crawling and imagining all sorts, whilst covered in hair dye

I was at university in 1994 staying in halls of residence, the uni was situated in some woodland with my bedroom on the ground floor. I went to the loo only to discover a spider as big as I have ever seen crashing across the floor. It's legs were, I kid you not, as thick as pipe cleaners and the body was the size of a 2p. I ran to the front desk to get the porter to help me get rid of it, he laughed at me and came with me (all masculine like) but upon taking one look at it he suddenly decided he needed to be somewhere else, and I was left to deal with it myself.

I did eventually do the old 'glass and a piece of card' trick, only to find that the RIM OF A FECKING PINT GLASS would not fit over the spider, it's legs were still poking out. After a bit of poking it eventually went inside the glass and I chucked it out of the window. I'm sure that spider had been exposed to radiation or something, I have never seen a spider that size in this country. Still gives me the creeps.

This brought back the horrifying time of the time I was in bed about to fall asleep when a spider dropped off the ceiling and landed on my lip. I nearly amputated my mouth with how fast I moved to get it off.

OP my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. It's ok to cry x

Got out the shower once, put towel round me and felt a tickle under my boob. There was a massive spider! Uggh I can still feel it now. I always check towels both sides before using now.

As a teen I pulled on some tights that had just been flung on the floor, felt a tickle and looked down to see a half squashed spider wriggling against my leg inside the tights. Almost tore my skin off too in an effort to get them off.

Omg yes the towel thing!

A few months ago I was in the shower, I had got a couple of towels out ready and popped them on the radiator to warm up. Got out went to grab a towel and a spider was on it!! Absolutely shit myself and ran away makes and soaking wet

I always shake towels now before I use them.

*naked

We've got a faux widow nest in our garden and one of the cheeky fuckers BIT ME on my little toe! Ok, I was trying to hairspray it into submission at the time but still, stay in your lane spider dude, with your flick knives and love/hate tattoos on your freaky fucking legs.

So in summary, BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN NOW. Yanbu.

I'm still traumatised from a spider in the car incident. DH was driving and I was in the front passenger seat. From above the back passenger window toddles the biggest spider I've ever seen. It had a face and was about the size of a large mug. I announced i would be exiting the car whether DH pulled over or not before legging it up an embankment screaming. It had crawled past my window in that time and was making eye contact from the sun visor.