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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone here eloped, or know someone who did?

20 replies

EllaEllaEhEhEh · 19/04/2019 19:32

Just wondering how you/they told employer/ colleagues? My work makes a big deal out of life events so I am feeling very nervous about doing this, after we have our small wedding with just close family members this year (so not really eloping but close).

OP posts:

Eminybob · 19/04/2019 19:37

We got married in secret, then went away on holiday straight afterwards (reluctant to call it a honeymoon as it was booked before the wedding was and we took DS1)

We told everyone when we got back, including work. I sent a text to my boss to let her know before I went back to work, so she wasn’t hearing second hand, and she sent a group email to my colleagues.
They did a collection for us (we both work for the same firm) which was nice and totally unexpected.

pinknsparkly · 19/04/2019 19:37

Took a cake into work (at my work, we take cakes in on our birthdays) and left it in the tea and coffee room with a note saying it was from me and why I'd brought it in. So far as I know, my husband simply turned up at work wearing a wedding ring and waited for someone to notice!

Isisizzie · 19/04/2019 19:38

We did. We had already had a holiday booked and decided to do it while out there. Then when I got back to work people asked to see some holiday pictures and our wedding ones were part of the selection. It helped that one of gossips was one of the first to see so I didn’t have to tell many people.
We had been together 12 years by then so no one expected it.

FamilyReferee · 19/04/2019 19:47

I know someone who eloped without telling anyone, then sent postcards to everyone the day after their wedding while still away!

Marilynmansonsthermos · 19/04/2019 19:50

Yes we went to las Vegas and and did it

hiphopapotamuses · 19/04/2019 20:02

We eloped, total secret. I told one person (who I know can't hold their own water) when I got back and let them do the talking til everyone knew. Job done!

Likethebattle · 19/04/2019 20:07

I did it a year ago. I e-mailed a wedding picture to my boss who sent it to my colleagues (she asked permission). I then composed an e-mail once in the office to advise my name had changed following my marriage.

UCOforAC12 · 19/04/2019 20:08

My old boss eloped to Vegas and got married in her t-shirt and shorts

RChick · 19/04/2019 20:09

We did Vegas too. I didn't tell work at all. I left after maternity leave and they never knew.

ScruffbagsRUs · 19/04/2019 20:15

What's the deal with telling employers? I wasn't aware that they had to be told. After all, getting married is a personal thing and you know what they say about bringing your personal like into work?

I had 2 choices, either tell my parents after everything was booked and paid for, or elope. I chose the former, but I wish I'd gone with the latter.

ScruffbagsRUs · 19/04/2019 20:16

That was meant to be "personal life"

M0reGinPlease · 19/04/2019 20:19

I know someone who eloped to Gretna Green with a colleague. They were both directors of the business I think. She had to take a work call at the airport and the member of staff she was talking to heard their flight called in the background and worked it out. They figured out where they were staying and arranged for a huge bouquet of flowers and champagne to be delivered waiting for them. Very romantic and they are still happily married many, many years later.

thedevilinablackdress · 19/04/2019 20:20

Boss: Do anything nice on your week off devil?
Me: Yes, got married
Boss:

LoveMyPeanut · 19/04/2019 20:25

Same as a PP - took cakes into the office! Folk we're very happy for us, enjoyed the cake and did a collection and card a few days later. All very straightforward!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2019 20:49

My husband and I eloped and we told people as it came up later on. Why do you care what people at work think?? You're actually "nervous" about it? I can't understand that at all.

PowerBadgersUnite · 19/04/2019 21:02

We did. It was only as far as the register office down the road, but we only told two other people who we invited as witnesses. I just rolled into work and said "oh, by the way I got married the other day" or words to that effect. I also took in some cake I think. It was fine. Everyone was surprised but very nice about it.

monkey1978 · 19/04/2019 21:03

My best friend eloped, as her best friend for over 20 years I was a bit upset she never told me, but it's her life. Why are you bothered about what people in work think?

WeAreStardustWeAreGolden · 19/04/2019 21:13

We eloped and got married in Vegas. I wore a sundress and flip flops, 13 years ago, still very happy.

GunpowderGelatine · 19/04/2019 22:36

We did, 9 years ago, and just rolled with the punches with sulky relatives. We simply said that we would have had to pay for any wedding ourself, we couldn't afford a wedding and a honeymoon so we decided to have a holiday of a lifetime and get married while we were there. Best thing we could have done!

Likethebattle · 20/04/2019 21:17

The only reason I sent the picture to my boss is that she was one of the people in on the secret as I needed some holiday that was touch and go due to timing etc. She asked me to send her a pic of the day. I had to let personnel/HR know as my name had changed and it changed something in my pension as now my spouse is entitled to it if I kick the bucket.

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