Should I be hurt by this?

[Lou780]

Group of friends ..all live local to each other. I have known one of the friends Mary for 20 yrs.. thought we were close. I supported her through a divorce a couple of yes ago when other friends avoided her.
I also gave her all my notes to help her pass an important course last yr.
She has just announced on group chat of 10 of us that she is having a BBQ party for two of our friends on the chat in her garden on Saturday. It was these two friends bdays yesterday and it is mine on Tuesday. No mention of it being a party for me too.
The two friends have only known Mary for 2 yrs and I am pretty sure not that close. Should this bother me or am I too sensitive?

Send a message saying, oh I take my part of the birthday celebration is a surprise party .

Think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here from the naysayers OP. For what it’s worth I would be hurt. I would also find it hard to raise it as I hate confrontation. But I would probably make light of it, send a message saying something like ‘sounds lovely! Shall we plan something separate for my birthday next week? Does anyone fancy going out for drinks?’. But I have to admit that I would be reevaluating the friendship I’m afraid. Depends how she reacts though.

Think you’re getting a bit of a hard time here from the naysayers OP.

Oh FFS. Nobody is giving OP a hard time. OP asked a question. Some people said yes and others said no.

Wow ellobrian you must be new to mn if you think this is a hard time

I have a friend who does something similar to this. She invites certain friends one time, others another time, makes a big deal that no photos are to go on social media in case someone not invited that time find out. We make a joke that we have escaped that event because it always leaks out if you are off that list.

Akshually Flying I am very old to MN but unlike most of the longterm posters I still believe we can Be Better. Sadly I am fighting a losing battle.

YANBU it does seem a bit odd. I'd probably be put out too. That said it is probably best not to dwell on it - who knows what went on behind the scenes. Maybe the two friends put pressure on her to host it for some reason.

Yes we can be better, but we can also try to be a bit more resilient and not be offended by every little thing. You can have a fairly robust discussion with someone, including disagreeing with them without it being classed as a hard time .

Indeed let us be more resilient and have a robust discussion by classing those who disagree with us as giving us a hard time. Am I doing this right?