To feel ashamed..

[lawdylawd]

Thus could be outing but never mind.
I am 24 years old and feel ashamed of body even though I shouldn't. Dh and I recently married, wonderful man. I had my first DC in jan, everything is lovely, my son is delicious. But I recently found out after a string of difficult symptoms and difficulties that I have a prolapse, front and back wall. I am only 24, I do my pelvic
Floor exercises but I can't help but feel awful, I'm scared to have more child and doctor discussed surgery once I'd finished having children.
Guess I'm just writing here for some advice, stories of women who have also been here, and a hand hold.

In the grand scheme of things I know that there is more important things for me to worry about, and people going through worse but I can't help but feel let down by my Body and ashamed.

Please don’t feel ashamed OP. It’s out of your control!! Can’t you get an appointment again with your GP and see if you can get an operation? Do you want more children?

@MijasMaddie thank you. I think I may. I did want other children but the thought of this getting worse with carrying another child is seriously making me reconsider.

There's really nothing to be ashamed of Op, these are common things to happen when carrying and birthing a baby, even if they are not often publically discussed. Your body hasn't let you down, you simply are suffering a consequence of birth. I think it's important to find a way to let go of the thoughts you're having. It's biological luck and nothing more. I won't ask the size of the prolapse OP obviously but they do vary quite a bit and a small-moderate one is not considered a big medical issue, and is considered normal after childbearing or birth.

If it makes you feel better, I have the same issue, rectocele and cystocele, and have never had a baby nor carried one. I do however have a connective tissue disorder which causes weakening of any connective tissue (such as the pelvic floor). It's uncomfortable and I suffer with stress incontinence and a number of issues relating to it that make me miserable. However, I dont find this embarrassing any more than I would if I had a prolapse ankle or something .

There are several treatment options regardless, ask to be referred to a specialist womens physiotherapist for the issue OP, I've seen one for years and she is knowledgeable and fantastic. They can advise exercises etc to strengthen the pelvic floor which certainly helps. The clinic has hundreds of patients and is oversubscribed most of the time so you are not alone in your experience I can assure you! I've had the option of surgery but after taking various advice chose not to go ahead and currently feel very at peace with that, and I don't even have a beautiful baby as the reason . Your body did a brilliant thing, as it should, and this is par for the course for some women!

Be kinder to yourself. Even if you don't want to see the physio you can look online how to do pelvic floor exercises and hopefully improve things. Although honestly it is so much better to see a professional and make sure you're doing them effectively. Surgery after you're done with babies is the go to only if the prolapse is severe and is causing symptoms or pain but not something you have to have at all. Many women choose not to and see the physio as a first line of attack before getting to that point (as says my nurse). I really recommend speaking to a specialist nurse if possible to allay your fears about a second pregnancy etc; you don't deserve to feel like this about it

@dontgobaconmyheart what a lovely thought out post.