To not buy a christening gift

[Millie2018]

Lots of close friends children have recently been christened and I have always brought a gift. My question is whether this is expected? I recently received an invitation from a friend and I am inclined not to buy a gift. I gave gifts for “welcome to the world” and Christmas and didn’t receive any thanks and never see them being used (I suspect at least one was sold on). I brought a personalised Easter gift instead of chocolate and was told “baby already has lots of these”. Again no real thanks. I have given this friend my old baby bits. Some I have offered, some have been asked for, as my friend didn’t want to buy second hand and said funds were tight. I don’t mind passing on but am starting to feel a bit unappreciated. Also gifts to my children are always small and cheap and she makes a point of telling me she is skint when constantly going on nights out with friends and holidays... so AIBU to turn up with just a card?

I think present giving can get really out of hand, when our DS was christened we had a large tea party afterwards as we wanted to thank the community as well as invite family & friends as our DS had a number of issues at birth and we had received lots of support but we very clearly put on the invitations ‘no presents please’ and 95% of guests respected that.

Your friend sounds very cheeky and grabby, do you actually go to all the christening celebrations or do you just give gifts? I would seriously stop being so generous.

Well I would normally always buy a gift but that particular friend sounds grabby and ungrateful so I'd be inclined not to.

I'd turn up with something 'small and cheap'.

Yes with previous friends we have attended the actual christening and for most of these have needed to stay over night, but this friend is local so we would definitely be going to the day. There is no guidance regarding gifts. She was quite open about selling on some of the things I have given her and I don’t mind those items, it’s the gifts that I find annoying. Oh and the fact the gifts to my children are always naff.