To go on this date?

[Jogrunwalksleep]

My best friend is a bloke. Strictly platonic - when it came up a couple of years ago he was clear he didn’t want more so I moved on and now enjoy the friendship for what it is. He’s my go-to if things are tough and I’m his, we talk every day online and see each other a few times a week. He’s my closest friend.

I recently got asked out by a man in his team at work that I know independently of my friend. I quite like this guy and wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but friend has reacted quite badly. He didn’t quite ask me not to date his workmate but was agitated about it and said he’d rather I didn’t as it would be weird for him and would make him uncomfortable. I was quite surprised by his reaction. Now I feel like I can’t without upsetting friend.

I don’t know what to do but tempted to go ahead anyway. AIBU?

Yes, you should definitely go! Your friend has made it clear he doesn't want more than a platonic friendship - are you planning to remain celibate for the rest of your life because he might feel uncomfortable?

Your friend is being completely unreasonable and ridiculous. Who you date is none of his business. He's got quite the cheek to try and dictate your personal life.

I would go anyway. It's not for him to say he would would rather you did not go out, as it comes across a bit controlling. I could be wrong, but he can't have it both ways.

Well he can't have it both ways ,either you are just friends and free to date who ever you want or there is more to the relationship!

It’s making me second guess other things too tbh - like how he always wants details of what I’m doing and seeing but I might be overthinking it

And he doesn't need to make this all about him. It's your date.

It’s none of his business he should be happy for you if you don’t go he’ll think he can control your dates in the future

Go on your date. Your friend is being an arse. He wants your attention to himself, without wanting a romantic/sexual relationship with you.

If your friend wanted to date someone, he wouldn't give you a second thought.

Sounds like he might be keeping you 'in reserve' maybe? Could it be that do you think? Either way, he's being unreasonable and you definitely should go!

Or could it be that he works with and knows this man, and knows the bloke might be a bit of a knob, not trustworthy or similar..
Just a thought

Soooo... he doesn’t want you but no one else can have you either?

I’m going to disagree with the responses so far. This is your best friend. Have you at least asked what his issues are? He sees this man day in day out - maybe he knows things about him but that you don’t.

If it’s just ‘It would be weird working with my mate’s boyfriend’, then he should grow up a bit. But at least give the person you describe as your ‘go-to’ the benefit of the doubt and dig a little deeper.

I had a male friend which was similar, he often told me if I lost weight he would be interested. I was a size 14 so I yes I could have done with losing some, but really I wasn't prepared to base a relationship on my size or weight, plus I was already informally dating someone (we were long distance, had met once and were talking online). The informal date guy and me ended up getting engaged every quickly and married very quickly and I moved away. My bestie really didn't appreciate it and not long after cut all ties.

People always assumed we were a couple as we were so close, but I think he wanted the best of both worlds and I wanted someone to love me for me (which is a good thing as 4 children later I am a size 18 🙈)!

Does the guy who has asked you out know that your best friends is one of his male colleagues? He similarly may not like it and feel uncomfortable that you are so close to one of his team mates.