How do we proceed?

[Netflixandchilll]

I’ve started a new job in my old career after a break from being an Early Years Practitioner. Since starting DP says he’s noticed a decrease in physical affection towards him. And he is right, but after having 30 toddlers on rotation sitting/climbing/dribbling/snotting all over me all day long, I just want everyone to get out of my fucking bubble. I feel bad and he’s always complaining we don’t cuddle or anything and I recoil from his kisses and such but I just hate my space being invaded by the time my work day is that done.

How do we proceed? I love my job and so I can’t leave and I do feel bad for DP but at the same time, I need my space.

Can you do something like have a long bath after work so that you have some time to yourself before spending the evening with DH?

Way to go with undermining your new job by making you feel guilty, eh?

Is he generally supportive of your ambitions/autonomy and us flagging this as a "I wish we could be more affectionate" thing OR is he trying to sabotage and control your newfound job prospects?

There's a few shades in the middle on that spectrum but some more context on his behaviour might help more here.

Way to go with undermining your new job by making you feel guilty, eh

how would you feel if your own partner did recoil from kisses? I like my space, but anyone would be hurt.

Tell him you need a break, give yourself a break (bath, run, book in your room), but plan something together a few times a week too. It's a bit of an extreme reaction to be honest.

how would you feel if your own partner did recoil from kisses?

There's context here. I'd talk to my partner and find out what's going on. Communication is vital. It's not as simple as "I want this level of affection, my partner isn't giving it, it's a problem". The partner here needs to listen, have a bit of empathy, and work out what might suit both of them.

Very similar to when two people work around having different sex drives.

Leaving her job/making her feel guilty for it is a dangerous precedent to set.

Whether that partner is capable of maturely discussing/comprising depends on how caring/self centered they are in general, hence my asking for more info...