To believe that success is the be all and end all?

[Theresa2]

What do you constitute as ‘success’ for your DC?

Would you be disappointed in them if they did not get a high paying job in the city, or would you be happy for them if they were just happy themselves?

What constitutes good ‘achievement’ in life? Going to uni? Having friends? A car? A house?

I'd like mine to have healthy self esteem, and to have the confidence to pursue a lifestyle that makes them feel fulfilled

I don’t have a high-flying job in the city and neither does DP or anybody else I know for that matter so it would be very strange if that was what I was going to aspire for for my children or how I was going to measure their success.

Two of my four children are severely disabled so success for them might look different to my other children but generally I would wish for all of my children to feel happy and fulfilled, to be kind, to love and feel loved and to be as independent as possible. I’d hope for all of them to have a job/ role they enjoyed and which allowed for them to contribute something - whether that be paid employment, volunteer work or even just having some responsibilities within their home - but so long as they are happy I wouldn’t measure success in money at all.

My parents wanted us to be high achievers. I became a doctor because thats what Mum wanted - luckily i quite like it!
My sister had all kinds of problems, and didnt achieve academically what she could have despite being pushed.
My mum has a huge issue that we have let DD leave school after GCSES and go to college to do a BTEC, because we havent made her fulfil her potential. DD hat3d school and hates sitting in lessons, sixth form would have made her miserable. As someone up thread said, i came in from work today to find her sitting watching football with her poorly grandad - kindness and happiness go a long way!
Her older brother got really good GCSEs and is at uni, and they're both happy sociable people

I think success means you are the kind of person for whom the world is grateful, because others are glad you are alive. I am watching my eldest daughter blossom into an intelligent, kind and beautiful young woman. She is off to uni next year to study for a caring profession, she volunteers for a children's charity, she is kind and fair to everyone she meets and she is falling in love with a lovely lad. I couldn't be prouder of her and how much she earns once she leave uni will not change how I feel one bit.

Who measures success as having a high paid job in the City? What an odd benchmark, surely 99.99 % of the population on the UK are by that definition failures.

What does it matter how anyone else measures it, be happy with your own life.

to almost every PP on this thread. So many beautifully written lines that I totally agree with about what success means to them for their DC (happiness for me too for mine).

Extra for @DDIJ because your post is so sad. I hope you are ok and things change for the better for you soon.

Success is being a well rounded and happy individual.

Some may be happy with low incomes, going something they love. Others may be happy having a successful career.

All I care about when it comes to my children is that they are genuinely happy with whatever life they choose.

What is important is character; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

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