Last year I was forced to leave my husband and home after he lost the plot (following months of random bouts of aggression and violence) and tried to suffocate me with our 8 month old son cuddled up next to me. We moved back up near my family, approx 350 miles, very quickly, while he was being held in police custody.
Since then I've been quite lucky, I've found a home for us, as well as a few job prospects (nothing concrete so far, but he's still only 14 months old and I'm enjoying watching him grow up, but I will be ready to make appropriate compromises and sacrifices for the right opportunity). But, I think about my husband (divorce is still pending) all the time. Every hour of every day. His last words to me were "you're going to have to spend the rest of your life watching your back". The other night I woke up and dared not move because I thought he might be somehow hiding in the house. I'm terrified, all the time.
I can't apply for a non-molestation order or anything similar because he has largely left us alone for a number of months.
I can't even take my little boy on holiday in France because I might get stopped in the airport or ferry port for being a single lady with a child.
It sounds awful but I feel like I can't actually rest and be at peace until he is dead.
I don't know what to do and I'm sick of feeling afraid. Please, there must be someone like me