To ask if you are no longer religious, do you miss church?

[DrBuckles]

I used to be very religious but now for various reasons I am an atheist.

I’m happy with my beliefs on the whole but I really miss the actual service at church- getting together, having a good sing, having a group of people to chat to etc.

I hoped that Sunday Assembly would take off more than it seemed to and I looked into Rock Choir but it was not at a convenient time or place for me.

I don’t know, I can’t go to church as I really don’t believe any more but I just feel I lack direction a bit now and I miss the fellowship side so much.

Anyone else?

I do love most christian music/hymns pre-1950! But rest of the proceedings are pretty tedious, and I thought so even when I believed in it.

You could still go to church though, if you miss it. It's not a requirement that you believe. I strongly suspect that a significant proportion of lifetime church attendees are there out of habit, and secretly have major reservations!

I was asked to leave my church because I had moved in with my partner (or be homeless) whilst getting divorced and being declared bankrupt.
Despite being a teacher (day job - working with vulnerable teens) the pastor told me I was too dangerous to be a part of a family church.
So yeh, I left.
I miss the fellowship - I miss chatting to people, and the singing, but I dont really feel Ive lost my spiritualism. I do doubt whether I'll return to a church. The entire experience has put me off.

What about a Unitarian church? Sense of community without religious dogma.

Yes I miss the community. When my Dad (who is a Christian) moved to a new area, he made a new set of friends almost instantly through the church. When my Mum and Dad had babies people came round with dinners for their freezer. There's always someone able to provide emergency childcare or a lift for an elderly person. I've had to move to new towns a few times in my life and making friends has been a long, slow process. I did think about attending church but I would feel like a fraud.

I was brought up catholic and attended church every Sunday and every holiday of obligation growing up. I hated it at the time and used to try and figure out ways to get out of it but now I find I do remember it fondly I know what you mean about the big sing song of the familiar hymns and community feel with generally very nice people. As soon as I moved out of home, I stopped going...it’s just something I’ve never really believed in, but it was important to my family and so I gave it a good shot!

I miss having faith, not going to church

I miss it at times like Easter and Christmas, not so much on an average Sunday morning.

Yes, same op - I used to go to church but I struggle to have any real faith a lot of the time. Finding community and getting to know people is so hard. Are there any other things you clild volunteer at? Local parks have gardening groups, an allotment, local charity shop, food bank, dreaded pta?

I’ve recently been to a low church family service where there is no communion (apparently often family services don’t) and a strong focus on the teachings of Jesus but still...difficult.

Finding secular fellowship is something we struggle with as a society. It must come through another cause you can identify with, in effect.

Rhiannon87 - That's pretty shocking and not a particularly Christian attitude to someone going through a difficult time. I imagine other church communities would be considerably more charitable.

Also agree it’s worse at Easter and Christmas - I dislike how all celebrations are merging into one another around food and gifts - valentines, Mother’s Day, Easter, Halloween, Christmas - they now feel like fairly undifferentiated celebrations of eating chocolate and buying stuff.

Bits of it. Having a good sing - but lots of modern hymns were just dreck.

All the in-fighting amongst who was the most important person in church - No.

Services that were incredibly boring - No.

Being told we were all sinners and going to burn in hell for something very average or being exhorted to go out and convert people - definitely not!

However some bits of spirituality, getting to meet people with shared ideas, seeing how supportive they could be - Yes.

I am experimenting with atheism at the moment. I find religion to be divisive, misogynistic and easily manipulated.
Saying all that, I do feel anchor-less at times. I miss the community spirit, the rituals and also the comfort of saying a prayer when things go out of control.
So you are not alone OP

No way. I was told by a catholic priest that abortion after rape was wrong. He's now in prison for child abuse. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone and all that.

I’ve never been religious
But I sometimes wish I was, seems like such a sense of community and when I was at lowest and loneliest I wish I had a community to fall back on.

OP do you mean do you miss the community? I’m catholic- defintely lapsed. I don’t miss Catholicism at all, when I do go (I have bouts of hypocrisy to satisfy my mum) I probably makes me more annoyed.
The camaraderie is definitely there though and I can see what my mum gains from it.

@neolara Yes - I imagine they would've been.
My mother calls me a denominational gypsy- I was born into a methodist household - adopted by baptists, then spent 7 years as part of the Sally Army then went Catholic for a while before eventually leaving the Pentecostals. 🤣🤣

I gave it a good go to be fair. I found alot of "Christians" of lots of denominations judged me for leaving my husband (he got another woman pregnant) telling me that I hadn't supported him properly.

The pastor who asked me to keave even told me that because I couldnt have children it was to be expected. Jokes on him now - 10 weeks preggo atm.

Its not the Church (with a big C) that I hate now - its the church: the politics, the clicks, the piss poor interpretations of the New Testament. Its frustrating.

There is a Sunday Assembly which is a non-religious organisation which kinda fills the hole. Community and talks and cake and such.
There are none near me but I'd love to go!

Op mumsnet local and meet-ups can also be a good way to meet people. It is concerning that people would rather stay in and watch sitcoms where people have communities than actively be part of one. The less you do it, the harder it becomes to join things.

Feeling a sense of wider belonging is important to most people’s happiness though.

Thanks for all the replies. I’ll look into some of the suggestions. As I said, Sunday Assembly looked like the perfect thing but it didn’t reach anywhere near my local area and it looks like other areas have stopped as well. I wish I had the time or charisma to organise something like that!

Also sorry that some of you have had rotten experiences with church .