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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why I always look awful in photographs?

135 replies

WillGymForPizza · 18/04/2019 16:23

Just that really.

When I look in the mirror I don't think I look all that bad, but if someone takes a photo of me I can guarantee I will look at hot mess. In fact I don't think there is a single photo of me in existence where I look ok. I have an awful smile, but then if I don't smile and try to go all Victoria Beckham I look miserable and my jaw and cheeks look strange.

Candid photos are even worse. I nearly always seem to be pulling odd strange facial expressions, standing weirdly and my eyes always look small and piggy.

I know it's a first world problem really. But can anyone offer advice on how to look a bit more human in photos?

OP posts:

wasnotwasweregood · 18/04/2019 17:04

I hear you OP!
I think it depends on your features as cameras do very strange things to angles and contours of faces. I think I'm OK-ish in a mirror and have quite strong cheekbones. I don't mind it in real it's quite striking but on photos I'm Lumpy McBumpy face and where the hell did my eyes go?!

A friend told me she once saw Kate Moss in real life and was surprised by how 'normal' she looked ditto someone else once saw Robert Pattinson and remarked the same thing. Both of them look amazing in pictures but aren't really 'strong-featured' if you see what I mean so the camera reacts to the contours of their faces differently.

In the same way a different friend once saw Emma Thompson in a restaurant and said how beautiful she was. Incredible skin and everyone peeping discretely at her. I don't think the camera lies, per se, but it can distort and obscure a lot.

I'm almost tempted before I get too much older to ask for a sketch of my face rather than a photo shoot or something, that might be a more realistic image.

Also to note I took a camera phone picture of my son recently who is absolutely gorgeous. He's got really striking bone structure but when I looked at the photo he looked as if he had a massive chin and jaw line. He really doesn't and it seemed like an odd distortion whilst clearly and recognisably him. If you're getting pictures (particularly selfies) that you don't like it might really be down to the camera rather than you!

Parttimewasteoftime · 18/04/2019 17:06

I get the piggy eyes and my hair always looks wild! No advice just you are not alone OP.

villainousbroodmare · 18/04/2019 17:07

Well, I have a friend who is gorgeous. Lean, great bone structure, good skin, dresses well, good posture... she looks nothing like as nice in photos. I don't know why but it's definitely the case. Equally there are others who look better in photos than in real life. Imo it really is a thing.

Original poster

WillGymForPizza · 18/04/2019 17:07

Yes, the rigour mouth is a really good description. Thinking about it, you know how the Victorians used to take photos of their deceased loved ones staged to look like they are still alive. Well I actually look like those people when I'm photographed, all stiff angles and weirdly placed limbs.

OP posts:

Accountant222 · 18/04/2019 17:08

Me too, I refuse to have my photo taken

NabooThatsWho · 18/04/2019 17:08

I have small eyes and a large very crooked nose, I also look weirdly fat in photos even though I’m pretty slim IRL.
I look in the mirror and think I look good, I’m not insecure about my appearance. Then I see photos and I look like Quasimodo.

So I either avoid photos, or insist on taking them myself!

Bezalelle · 18/04/2019 17:12

I'm the same.

It used to give me major anxiety, especially when people would post photos of me on social media. Now I've accepted that I morph into an absolute beast through the camera lens, so I just sort of let it wash over me.

WHY does it happen though? I am decent-looking in real life!

ghostyslovesheets · 18/04/2019 17:13

yup - in real life I swear I have cheek bones and a chin - in pics - I look like the Moon from Mighty Boosh

Bezalelle · 18/04/2019 17:13

On the other hand, I have a friend from whom the camera shaves at least a decade, and makes him look lean and fresh-faced. Not fair!

ladyflower23 · 18/04/2019 17:16

I have the same problem, but have found i have a best side, so if I angle my face so it is facing slightly off to the side I look much better. I have a gigantic nose which can be badly accentuated in photos if I don't get it right.

AventaRizon · 18/04/2019 17:17

I have found my people.

Footle · 18/04/2019 17:17

I keep get miserable during FaceTime / Skype calls when I look at my own face in the corner.

downthestrada · 18/04/2019 17:18

I struggle with selfies. My husband always seems to be able to take the best photos of me. Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with him and he's usually making me laugh at the time?

But, it might just be my perception at the time. I started keeping photos on my phone, even ones that I thought were crap and ugly. When I looked back at them 2 months later, they were good photos and I was not ugly/fat/whatever.

Chouetted · 18/04/2019 17:21

I invariably have my eyes closed in photos!

I have no idea why, and it's rather embarrassing.

MilletSentToForceIt · 18/04/2019 17:22

Up until the age of 8 I looked really beautiful in photos, since then I have never looked good in photos, but even more alarming, it’s actually getting worse!

My face seems lopsided, and I look like I have had special witch makeup applied. I have even had profession photographers say ‘oh my god, you don’t look like that in real life’. I had to have pictures taken for a work brochure and they sent me back to have them done again (they were no better second time around).

I think I might have to get a good camera, take a photography course and always be behind the camera.

A self employed friend has to do a new company brochure quite regularly, apparently an expensive photographer who’s a wizz with photoshop is the key.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/04/2019 17:28

"There is this man at my work.In person, he is your average-looking fellow, not unattractive at all but you might not look twice (unless he has a secret glowing personality I have yet to discoverwink)

He is very much The Face of the company.Whack him in front of the camera and he literally looks stunning.Extremely handsome. It's not make up.I don't get it..."

Someone at my work looks great in photos too. This person is of the younger generation and quite into photography and videos so I think they've just studied it and learnt what to do.

SugarNyx · 18/04/2019 17:29

I call it the Chandler effect. In pics i look like a thumb! don't get it

Littlepond · 18/04/2019 17:30

Snapchat filters dahling

TonTonMacoute · 18/04/2019 17:30

Feeling awkward while posing is an important factor but, as one PO has said, it is mainly to do with the fact that you only ever see your own face in a mirror, and it is literally a mirror image of your face in a photograph.

Your face is very unsymmetrical, so it does look quite different in reverse. This is why often your friends say that they quite like a photo of you that you hate.

lotusbell · 18/04/2019 17:33

If you are posing in a group, stand slight to the side and never let your arm hang straight down at your side - guaranteed to make your upper arms look huge. Pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth helps to 'tighten' your chin and neck, always try and slightly just your chin out rather than back to minimise a double chin effect. My dad is a keen photographer and always used to take pics of us with proper props and equipment. Holding a sheet of paper under your chin deflects light and brightens your face (paper obviously not in the shot). Practice with the timer on your phone and see what works for you maybe?

Petalflowers · 18/04/2019 17:33

I’m another one. I always seem to freeze at photos. At a recent work do, there were photos of everyone having a great time. I looked scared. And my smile is more of a grimace rather than smile.

NerdyBird · 18/04/2019 17:37

I'm very unphotogenic. My face is lopsided and my nose is not straight. I look awful in 99.9% of photos. Even in my wedding photos I only look ok and we did have a really good photographer. I just try to avoid cameras now!

QueenOfThorns · 18/04/2019 17:41

I have a particularly asymmetric face, which is why I hate all photos of myself. My nose is bent and one eye is bigger than the other. I’m used to them in the mirror so I don’t notice, but they look horrible in photos

Justonemorepancake · 18/04/2019 17:43

Me too. It's like a reverse body dysmorphia. I think I look fine until I see photo evidence. I am deeply unphotogenic. My mate actually has a special album of hilariously bad photos of me - it's known amongst my inner circle how it's impossible to get a good photo of me and they all find it hysterical

Bringbackthestripes · 18/04/2019 17:45

I look hideous. Huge chipmunk grin and my eyes end up squished and screwed up and, despite being pretty slim, my arms always end up looking massive and like a huge ham hock and I look pregnant.

DC took a photo of us yesterday and both me &DH said we had to take another one.

DC:why do you need me to take it again
Us: we need you to take one when we are breathing in

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