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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why ds is stealing

6 replies

caitlinohara · 18/04/2019 10:25

ds2 age 10 is stealing random stuff from us. I found some of my underwear in his room a few weeks ago and thought little of it, assumed he was 'dressing up' and didn't want to embarrass him so just quietly took it back. Then before the holidays I found one of my tops in his school bag and assumed he had picked it up with his PE kit or something. Now this week I have found 3 pairs of my tights, 4 pairs of dh's boxers shoved down between his bed and the wall. ds1 (12) went in to look for his swimming trunks yesterday and found several pairs of his pants in ds2's pants drawer.

We think there might be money as well, dh thinks that he has lost £5 out of his wallet but can't remember. I strongly suspect he has been taking the odd £1 coin from my bag but can't prove this.

Dh has tried to talk to him about it this morning but hasn't got anywhere. I doubt he is able to say why he has done it. He was a bit 'light fingered' when he was very little - came home from a friend's house with a Lego man years ago, a dice from school, a decorative pebble from Grandma's house, we dealt with all of these at the time and thought he had grown out of it. He is doing well at school, plays football outside of school, doesn't socialise much but never has and doesn't seem to want to. If anyone has any similar experiences, how did you deal with it?

OP posts:
nighttimebrowser · 18/04/2019 10:30

That's really odd that it's clothing & not typical things like money/electronics etc.

Maybe you need to have a sit down with him.. hate to be gross but maybe he's using the clothes for other purposes?😕

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 18/04/2019 10:35

He's masterbating in your clothes, they feel soft/silky. It will pass.

caitlinohara · 18/04/2019 10:37

Well that's kind of what I thought at first.. but he's only 10... and it being his brother's stuff as well makes that more unlikely I would have thought?

OP posts:
TheQueef · 18/04/2019 10:38

Masturbating at 10?
Has he stolen anything of value at all?

caitlinohara · 18/04/2019 10:45

We think some money as well but can't prove it. Dh is always leaving piles of change around.

OP posts:
MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 18/04/2019 10:47

We had this from DS1 at a similar age. Looking back he was incredibly unhappy and was unable to verbalise. Our family dynamic is different to yours and I don't want to project anyway but please consider what may be making him unhappy; sibling rivalry, house move, bullying, boredom, loneliness, sexual or emotional abuse, bereavement, anxiety. We, as parents and step parents, couldn't see the issues at first but there will be something.

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