Travelling alone with young children

[Home77]

Friends have moved abroad (not far maybe an hour flight). They have two DC, ages 2 and 5. The mum would like to come back and visit relatives but worries about travelling with both.

I happened to mention when mine were both little sometimes would visit relatives and friends just taking one for the weekend and leaving the other with DH. Thought this might be helpful idea, but then wonder if have out them off the idea they could do it alone with 2.

Think main concerns are the travelling and dealing with both together, maybe hiring a car and car seats etc, not sure exactly but at young ages can be a bot of work together and in a new place. a dog also.

AIBU in my suggestion? would you go for it alone with 2 of that age (and a dog?)

I have to say, I’m in the “when did people get so pathetic” camp too.

Plainspeaking no need to be so rude, yes some of us just don't have a clue, do we...

Just picking through the ramblings of your OP you've told her to leave one child with her DH, who works long hours, hence they cant both come together.

Sorry bit if a grown woman who is apparently capable of birthing two children cant manage to work out how to travel for an hour with two preschoolers then I despair, I really do. If she wanted to come but apparently cannot negotiate an airport, she could drive and get the ferry and bring the dog on its pet passport.

If she's being a drama queen about it she probably shouldn't bother. It's perfectly doable but some parents like to believe that they cannot cope with doing anything significant their own children without their partner. The fact that the dog is even mentioned suggests she's looking for excuses to be helpless and overwhelmed.

If she actually wants to do it she leaves the dog and the buggy at home, takes a hip carrier and minimal but very well thought out luggage and just gets on with it. The 5 year old should be no trouble and should have his or her position of trust built up a bit before hand and know that good behaviour is absolutely expected.

@home77 - I wanst being rude .. yet.

Maybe I should not have mentioned the travelling with one child thing. Probably am a bit crap at this stuff as have a mental health condition myself so do struggle at times. Also the time with easy jet was a nightmare. Glad to see others manage fine etc.

O f course the get out of jail clause ....

All I can say is I don't think it is unreasonable to find the combination of toddlers, crowds, waiting in an airport with them, passport control, toilets, etc and possible tantrums, crying, etc extremely stressful. It;s stressful enough flying for some people.

If it’s only an hour flight and it’s that stressful, drive.

Of course you can travel with two young children. You need to be very organised and prepared to work hard for the whole journey. I used to plan - a new sticker book, a new game on my phone etc etc and for desperate moments snacks they love but don’t often get eg crisps. You just need to be aware that you won’t get a break and will arrive exhausted.

I haven't told her to do anything, just mentioned what I did when small. It's perfectly plausible for her to leave one with him for the weekend and visit. I think someone else maybe got out the wrong side of bed today

Dies sge go out and about with tgem on her own where she lives?
Car and ferry May be easiest
But Perfectly doable if you limit luggage for the plane (book priority boarding and book seats)
If you go to see relatives ask to use their washing machine this cuts down on clothes needed

She probably just doesn't actually want to do it, to be fair.

I remember being expected to "hop" on a plane, and people expecting it down play the fact that with getting to and from airports each end, awkward flight times, security, potential delays, hire cars etc and the fact that no, children under 2 do not fly free and children in general are not half price, despite older relatives repeating that in the belief that saying something a lit makes it true mean it is all a bit of a ball ache and far more expensive than people want to admit.

People who want you to "pop" over with the kids more often do minimise - they insist it's just an hour's flight, ignoring all the other time consuming faff in the airport and getting to and from airports, and airily quote cheap flight prices ignoring the fact that they're for one person without seat reservation or luggage let alone a hire car factored in.

So maybe she just doesn't want to.

Which is absolutely fair enough.

An hour's flight can be a 12 or 16 hour drive or more especially if the family she's to visit are not near a London airport but near Manchester or Glasgow!

I've done plane and Eurostar from mainland Europe to UK with two kids. Biggest problem I had with Eurostar was that the through ticket I had from Germany to London gave me a 25minute change at Brussels... Made it by skin of teeth. But it was less complicated than flying with checking luggage in etc.
If flying... Have everything you need for the flight (spare clothes, nappies, entertainment) in one bag. Tablets, liquids in a pile at top easy to remove at security.
Practice going through security at home. Our routine is eldest, youngest, adult. Make it clear to eldest that they stop and wait immediately after scanner (and my experience is that the security staff stop them wandering off). After security.. go to toilets, buy drinks, go straight to gate. Look at planes.
Lollipops for landing and take off.
Don't rely on getting pushchair back at landing... Especially Gatwick.
We have car seats in the UK and get picked up at airport or use public transport.

It is doable and once you've done it a couple of times it's easy.

This is nuts.

Just do it. I genuinely fail to see the problem.... it’s not backpacking off grid through the Himalayas.

You do realise there are single parents out there right? who have no choice? my mum took her 2 grandkids on holiday ALONE

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Agree with most of your post, I just couldn’t be bothered to type it all I admit.

But- practicing security? Really? It genuinely would never occur to me to even consider doing that.

Mine are older now and it is far, far easier. Maybe she'll bring them hewn they are a but older. Maybe some people have very easy children, not sure. But I remember it being quite tricky especially if busy /crowded. Anyway thanks for the thoughts. I checked back and realised I suggested the one child thing only after she mentioned would be hard with two, as an alternative.

I think someone else maybe got out the wrong side of bed today

Awww hun, but at least I know which leg to put on the floor first without asking the web

I am like your friend. Live overseas 2 kids and dog.

I travel a lot just me and the kids by plane, home to see family or other European cities to visit friends (dh can come home at lunch to see to the dog). We have also done the journey by car / eurotunnel with the dog a few times.

Flight is easy. Security is the biggest issue. I spy, sweets and drinks for standing in the queue. Both mine take backpacks but all electrics go in my bag so I only have to unpack one bag at security.

Dd goes through the barrier first then ds (1 when we first did this so from me to dd) and then me last. I have found most people to be extremely helpful when you are travelling alone with kids.

Driving is more of an issue. Toilet breaks every 2 hours with time to run around and stretch legs, sing along cds, lots of snacks and tablets make it manageable. Flexible crossing ticket so you don't feel under pressure to be at the port at a particular time if possible.

My kids are 13 and 8 now and are fantastic travellers on long journeys as it is all they have ever known.

I think it is one of those situations where the thought of it is much more stressful than the reality.

It jus popped into my head that from the age of 5, in the USA, children can fly alone ... yes alone ... perhaps she could send the child on a head?

Children younger than 5 years traveling alone are not accepted on American Airlines flights. They must travel with an accompanying adult at least 16 years old. Children from 5 through 14 years of age may travel alone and are considered Unaccompanied Minors.

www.seatmaestro.com/airlines-seating-maps/american-airlines/minors/

Backpacking off grid through the Himalayas doesn't involve being responsible for anyone but yourself and is something you do because you want to, at your own pace, not because great auntie Gertrude isn't getting any younger and your mum thinks she'll be offended if you don't bring little Oli and Harry to her 80th birthday party, after all you can just hop onto a quick flight, they're so cheap and it'll be no bother...

As this is about a friend I'm on the fence about whether she's being helpless or just making an excuse because she doesn't want to go enough to shell out £500 for a fairly tiring slightly stressful weekend visiting relatives who won't believe she's gone to any trouble at all to be there.

I don't understand why she would be bringing the dog - she should leave the dog at home with her DH.

I personally - but we don't have a car so we don't drive much - wouldn't be up for renting a car and driving two kids. Because ours aren't very used to cars, they get quite grouchy and need attention. I would take a train or taxi. The flight would be fine - takes thought and planning but fine.

If the kids fight, as you say, simply sit them one each side of mum on the plane so they can’t reach each other. My two managed a couple of hours’ flight time when small (Scotland to southern France) - I think they found it an exciting novelty, even the airport (!)
Most cabin crew and other passengers are kind and helpful towards mums travelling alone with kids, as long as they’re not screaming and kicking. (The kids, that is, not the mum!)

@starabara... Our practicing security was a five minute thing. But our eldest was selectively mute at the time I first started flying alone was liable to run off if unknown people talked to her so getting her used to understanding the process was reassuring. And now they're a little older our local airport only has full body scanners.