Wedding party dilemma

[Sessy19]

My sister and my dad have a tricky relationship. She hasn’t spoken to him properly when he said he couldn’t afford to go to her wedding abroad a few years ago.

She has, however, invited him, my step mum and their 3 sons to her wedding party here in the UK.

She’s been planning this for ages, but has always played it down. She’s highly strung and, IMO, high maintenance and she’s fallen out with a lot of people in getting this party ‘just right’. It’s her wedding celebration for all those who couldn’t afford to go to her extortionately priced exclusive tropical island wedding!

I was at my dads last night, and my step mum was talking about getting to the wedding and having to factor in DB’s wife and 6wk old baby as well as other DB’s girlfriend. Neither have met my sister and I know they aren’t catered for on the table plan! I’m freaking out, stuck in the middle.

I picked up the wedding invite and it says ‘Dad, Step mum and boys’. I told step mum I’d check that they’d been included for food etc because sis had done final numbers. My step mum is an angel and wouldn’t want to cause upset or awkwardness, but said that she’d not realised it was sit down etc and assumed it was just garden party style and she’d texted sis for details but did never replies.

My sis and I have come to blows before over wedding stuff. My mum is an awful troll and hates that I have a relationship with dad so she is always dropping poison in my sisters ear about how my dad loves me more than sis. It’s all so petty and ridiculous. And I don’t know really why my sis has even invited my dad et al if she isn’t even going to speak to them!

I have agreed to speak to sis to see if extra family can come even if only in the evening, I’m not really sure how I got myself into this. I’ve had a sleepless night thinking about my sis blowing up at me!!!

If your sister has invited her Dad and Step Mum then perhaps this is her way of trying to heal the rift. Why is she not answering your step mother's emails? Is it possible for your Dad to message her and ask her the fine details? This would probably mean a lot to her and lessen the tensions.

So you sister in laws aren't invited but your dad and step mum thought they were? If you know they haven't been catered for I would just tell your dad this and not bother going to your sister about it. No need to rock the boat for people who have never met her and probably have zero interest in attending her wedding .

So your sister has invited her db's but not db's wife? And this is a blessing? A party? You need to speak to your sister, she's got to realise that your father couldn't afford to go before and family is important

It shouldn't be up to you sort this, but obviously it's not your step mum's fault if sis hasn't replied. If sis has only invited the son's and not the son's wives plus babies, which is what it reads as, then it's up to the sons whether they'll go or not without partners, surely.

Stay out of it. It's not your problem and how can it end well for you? It's up to your father and sister to sort it and if she ignores them she will have to deal with the consequences.

Thanks all replying! I didn’t realise what a long post this was, sorry!

All valid points and suggestions, it’s such a complicated situation for no real reason.

I’m going to ask sis why she isn’t replying, but I probably already know why...I just don’t even know why she’s invited them. I feel horrible that any of that side of the family is coming to be gawked at by my sis’ new in-laws who have lots of money and are thoroughly rude and snobby about it, and are just like my mother!! I think it might have been less awful if they had just never been invited. Sigh. Bloody families!