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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to block this person on instagram?

28 replies

Kittycat87 · 18/04/2019 04:39

I have kept my pregnancy quite private so far but decided yesterday to post about it in a story on Instagram. I use Instagram quite rarely and I have it set on only visible for my followers of which I am quite selective. Suddenly I receive a message on whats app from an acquintance I barely speak to that says: Hi! I just wanted check something! I heard you are pregnant! Is that true?
My reply: oh really, you heard so! Who has told you that?
Reply from acquintance: a screenshot of my instagram story with the message that she received this from someone.
My reply: Oh someone is taking the effort to take screenshots of my insta story and forward them to others ! Who was it?
Her reply: I am not telling that, just wanted to ask you if it’s true?

I didnt reply on this. I checked who has viewed my story and saw that one of her friends did so it didnt take a long time to do the math. This person is a mom herself and what annoyed me is that she took the effort to spread my news but didnt take the effort to reply on my story with so much as a simple: congratulations!

I blocked her on insta and didnt reply to the other acquintanance since I think they are both being CF’s.
Would you have done the same thing?

OP posts:

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 04:45

Does it matter, you have already announced it. Does it matter that a friend of a friend knows? And you blocked without finding out how the telling came about? Are you a royal member that anyone would want to report on it?

Poppyfr33 · 18/04/2019 04:46

You have posted your news on social media, it will be shared.

PurpleDaisies · 18/04/2019 04:49

Don’t post on Instagram if you want things to remain private.

How pregnant are you? Surely it will be obvious when you meet people that you’re pregnant anyway.

Original poster

Kittycat87 · 18/04/2019 04:51

What matters to me is that it was so obviously about gossiping since she actually took a screenshot, sent it to her friend but didnt bother to send me ‘congratulations’.

If she had mentioned it in a conversation it would have been different though I still would have thought it was not very polite to spread the news but not say congrats.

OP posts:

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 04:51

You sound more upset you didnt get an “OMG congrats!!! XOXO”

PurpleDaisies · 18/04/2019 04:52

You’re really pissed off about the lack of congratulations. That’s pretty obvious.

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 04:55

It is a sad day when not enough people like your Instagram post or comment on it...😂

whatswithtodaytoday · 18/04/2019 04:55

People gossip. You posted on social media, it's now public knowledge. By all means be pissed off, but you are being unreasonable.

desparate4sleep · 18/04/2019 04:57

You sound very immature to care about this stuff.

Original poster

Kittycat87 · 18/04/2019 05:00

I see you already made up your mind about me, based on assumptions and that you dont seem capable of realising that the details make a difference here.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 18/04/2019 05:02

I’m going off what you’ve written. You’ve mentioned not being congratulated three tunes in two posts.

PurpleDaisies · 18/04/2019 05:02

^times

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 05:07

@Kittycat87 weren’t you also annoyed about your mum telling your dad without your approval and him not saying “congrats”?

Spaghetticarbanana · 18/04/2019 05:11

Judging by the replies you've had I guess people screenshotting and sharing posts (that were not public but in this case shared with select people) must be common?
I understand what you mean. For me there is a difference between seeing something on social media then discussing it, and actually taking a screen shot and sharing it with people.

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 05:17

@Spaghetticarbanana read all the posts, they are more concerned with a lack of “congrats” than any invasion of privacy, that is where the comments are based

SugarPlumLairy2 · 18/04/2019 05:18

I can see your point. If someone you trusted takes the time to screenshot your Instagram to share/gossip about with someone who isn’t on your Instagram without even taking time to acknowledge you then they aren’t as trustworthy as you thought.
You’re more their entertainment than their friend.
Clean up your Instagram and done with.

frazzledasarock · 18/04/2019 05:20

I’d think it odd if someone just screenshot my Instagram and passed it around friends but never acknowledged them to me.

It’s weird, I’ve never screenshot friends insta posts to forward to other friends.

I’d have deleted her off my friends as well.

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 18/04/2019 05:21

Maths.

Illberidingshotgun · 18/04/2019 05:25

In answer to your question, no, YANBU to block whoever you like on SM. However if you are wanting to keep the news fairly quiet, then posting on SM is never going to work. Once you put that information out there, people can share if they wish, they're under no obligation to keep it to themselves.

I know this may make it fairly difficult for you now, particularly if it is still early on in the pregnancy. Have you told work? Was this a work colleague that found out? But whilst gossip is gossip and I hope is still considered bad form, there's no way of preventing this type of situation once you put that information out there.

JenniferJareau · 18/04/2019 05:28

Would you have done the same thing?

No. While it would have been nice to have my post liked or a nice comment put on there, it is social media and once your photo or whatever is out there you have no authority to decide what other people do with it or the information you imparted.

Spaghetticarbanana · 18/04/2019 05:29

@Alicewond I read them. She may be fishing for congrats, but she's right (to me) in saying that seeing someone's announcement about something, not responding to that person but actually taking the time to screen shot and share with others would appear to be gossiping and is a bit impolite.
I dont really post on social media but if someone came to me and said "joe bloggs sent me a screenshot of this, is it true?" If joe bloggs had seen my post, not responded but run off actually sharing screen shots of it I'd be pissed off.

Ellenborough · 18/04/2019 05:32

It does seem quite rude and a bit invasive, yes. I can see your point.

Is there perhaps a reason why people might be treating your PG as a source of gossip rather than just congratulating you?

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 05:33

@Spaghetticarbanana she has already kicked of at her own mother for telling her father, rightly or wrongly you can’t put something in the public domain and then be annoyed when people find out

Alicewond · 18/04/2019 05:35

@Spaghetticarbanana maybe you didnt read her earlier thread sorry

Humpy84 · 18/04/2019 05:50

🙄 This isn’t that hard to sympathise with and you need to look st whole picture.

Like many people you are careful on social media and a private person. Nothing unusual about wanting your pregnancy to be relatively private,could be a million reasons for that.

Yeh it’s weird to screen shot someone’s story and send it to someone else. The only time my friends do that is when they are gossiping about someone. Keeping it real here.

The fact she also didn’t congratulate about huge life news, but relayed the news says much about your relationship or lack of. Could also be that she’s interested in you as a person but doesn’t feel like you’re close enough to send a private message or engage in chatter. Could also feel like she’s intimidated by you and shy about chatting , see last paragraph,

I however wouldn’t block, she will notice either way. I would just find a way for her to no longer be able to view your profile.

Take it all as a compliment that people are gossiping and sharing news about your life. You obviously have ‘celebrity status’ within your social network and are seen as beautiful, interesting, enviable enough to screen shot and gossip about.

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