To have a DNA test

[Frankie20018]

My Mum had affairs all through my childhood and ive always felt like the odd one out with my siblings. As ive got older this has started to bother me more and more. I was considering getting a sibling DNA test. I know this would make my mum angry and upset my Dad if he found out but I really want to know the truth is it a good idea??

You could do it just for yourself. You don't have to tell anyone.

It is your can of worms to open. Though once it's open, remember you can't close it again.

Pffft. You tell us. You're the one who has to be sneaky & live with any fall out. What would you do with the information (either way)?

You seriously have to consider the fall out from this.

I dont know what I would do with the information. But this is really starting to bother me and its affecting my mental health.

I’d probably do it then.

Good luck and I hope it all turns out for you.

I'm a planner so I couldn't imagine doing this without a plan what I'd do with the information.

Why is your mental health affected? Do you reckon your parents didn't love you? Would you feel even more upset if you are the genetic offspring of both & still don't have a reason why you feel unloved?

This yr I discovered a hidden uncle from DNA testing, btw. I'll be confronting my dad about it in a few months.

What's your relationship with your dad like? Assuming it's good, I'd reassure him that bringing you up makes him more of a dad than anything else and nothing changes that.

Thank you tallgrass

My relationship with my Dad is good however I am the only one out of my siblings that has any contact with him. I've got reason to believe that it's me who isn't his biological child and the others are

You need to do it to get an answer.
If you have a good relationship with your dad that shouldn't change because he is still your dad. He raised and cared for you. That is stronger than biology.
Good luck.

I would have to find out. How would you feel if you were the only one who was your Dad's child?

Frankie if you find out you are you dads bio child, will you leave it at that? Because you can’t check on the other siblings that wouldn’t be fair (or maybe even legal)

Have you spoken to your sibling about it? Are they willing to take a test? I'd probably do it if you could trust that your sibling would be on the same page as to what to do if you aren't your dad's bio child.

If this is really worrying you, I would do the DNA test for your sake. Xx

Do it, you have a right to know who you are. You'll always be wondering if you don't.

I’d do it for you. But be careful that you aren’t putting all your feelings of sadness on to this one thing and hoping that a dna test will resolve it. It may well make things worse for a while. Good luck.

Unless I’ve got confused, wouldn’t a sibling DNA test just tell you whether you have the same parents as the sibling you test against? And not which one of you isn’t your dad’s biological child? Particularly if your mum had multiple affairs, rather than just one that coincided with you being conceived.

That's true MeridithGrey1. You'd still be wondering which is the bio child. If you both did an ancestry DNA test or similar you might find out easier, as the bio child would match to other paternal relatives who may have done the test. Of course you'd be relying on other paternal relatives to have tested. Only way to be 100% sure is to test with your dad - not sure if you can just send off his hair strands for example, without his permission or knowledge, though of course according to Soap Land (Emmerdale) you can.

Yes you're right a sibling DNA test would only tell us if we are full or half siblings not which of us isn't our Dads but it's a starting point to finding out. I would much rather ask my brother and sister to take the test with me than ask my Dad. If it came back that we are all full siblings then we are all more than likely my Dads

You would risk a sibling finding out something they don't want to know. I am not sure.

Being sneaky, since you have a good rel with your dad.

Get him the test for birthday. As a "laugh", or to check ethnicity, or "for fun", "I never know what to get you", etc.
When he's lost interest, quietly test yourself with same provider to see if he comes up as a match. No need to involve siblings with difficult information.

Thank you that gave me an idea. My Dads brother is on ancestry dna. I've ordered myself and ancestry dna test. If I dont match with my uncle as family when I get my results then I know we are not related.

Hope it can give you some answers.

Oh well that's it sorted. No need to mention it to anyone and if you don't get a match to your uncle then you'll know. Are you sure he's actually taken the test as opposed to just setting up an account to research the family tree?