Gifting

[Numptysod]

My DP has just his DM and DSis and DBIl so 3 people.

Where as I have DM DF - bro/sil - 2 Nieces - step nephew -step mum
I have 8 people

DP feel we should spend same on each family

So say 8 x 20 per person on my side would be £160

And he feels just 20 x 3 is £60
DP feels it should be £160 for his family too divided by them, so £50 pound each on them?

Is this fair?
My friend only buys children presents and not her DSis and DBIL
Would consider this I suppose, instead of £80 on dbro/SIL

AIBU to consider this, fair on both sides??

Gifting is not a verb- drives me up the wall to head it. Gift giving.

Oxford English Dictionary indicates that gift is both a noun and a verb, and "gifting" was used as early as 1619.

If I were doing giftcards, I'd do equal dollar amounts. If I'm doing gifts, I'd do the same number of gifts per child, but I wouldn't necessarily consider the cost unless there was a huge disparity.

Seems a bit tight and calculating to me to be honest. That said though since you say you go for a meal to celebrate too I would compromise a bit and say fine spend a little more on his side if he would rather but the whole thing just seems a bit odd and miserly to me

DH and I have roughly the same number of relatives we buy presents for.

His parents, grandparents, brother, aunt & uncle, and aunt. My parents, sister, husband and baby, sister, husband and twins, and my neighbour who's like an aunt to me.

He's responsible for his family - who buy very expensive gifts, and we get variable gifts in return (very generous parents, his brother got us a gingerbread house after asking for Armani cologne etc). I'm responsible for my family (who like very cheap things, give us weird stuff but also generous cash gifts).

For mine, I divide the budget by family unit. £75 for each family unit, with variations within - e.g. sometimes I spoil the kids, sometimes the adults. Parents always want charity gifts.

Suppose meal plus present is £50 per person realistically

So spending £50 on his, family is ok?