Visiting people with a small child in tow!

[sabrinasanchezr]

Hi! My aunt has lots of low level ornaments that my 19 month old just loves touching when we go to visit her. She often mentions to me that she has to move them before he comes and has said I'm not hard enough with him! I'm now put off going there because I feel on edge in case he touches anything! Am I being unreasonable?

No, it might be more relaxing to arrange to meet her elsewhere or get her to come to you. If she doesn't like it then point out that she wasn't happy about moving her ornaments and your DS is too young to understand that he mustn't touch them.

If she has invited you to visit, then baby-proofing is a normal part of preparing. Our DS is seven, but when an old friend came to stay with her toddler recently, we had to shut all the Lego safely away and fish out the old stair gate.

I stopped visiting my sister for about a year when my youngest was a toddler. Her house was full of breakable stuff he was both curious and quick. I saw her elsewhere regularly but until he was old enough to understand the "don't touch your aunties stuff" instructions it wasn't a fun visit for anyone.

YANBU. If it's too much of a chore for your aunt to move her ornaments then don't visit.

It's not rocket science that toddlers and breakables don't mix. (I don't have children, and yet I manage to know this.)

Toddlers and breakable ornaments don’t mix well.

Toddlers tend to be curious and impulsive and if they see something interesting in a house then there’s a good chance that they’ll try to touch it. It’s normal toddler behaviour. Your 19 month old is touching the exciting ornaments despite being told not too because he’s a toddler, not because you’re being too soft.

They get better at learning not to touch other people’s stuff without permission as they get older, but for now, if your aunt finds moving her breakables too much bother, it might be easier to meet her somewhere else.

Just meet her at a child-friendly cafe if you must visit.

She has lots of breakables and doesn't like moving them.

You have a 19 month old child.

Different venue for meet ups is the sensible/non confrontational solution for all.

He’s a toddler that’s what they do, she’s got no right to say that to you. If she doesn’t want them broken it’s her job to move them all away. I’d personally not visit again and if I had to see her then a cafe or park.

I would swerve it altogether! 'Ornaments' are a pain in the neck

He’s a toddler that’s what they do, she’s got no right to say that to you. If she doesn’t want them broken it’s her job to move them all away

How bizarre. I assumed that people can do what the fuck they like in their own home and the guests fit in with them. I didn't realise that the person who is there for one hour every few weeks has priority over the layout of the homeowner who is there all the time.

IME older people seem to think that very small children can be told no and it should work first time! So they both think it should be unnecessary to make accommodation for the child AND judge your parenting.

The fact is they are remembering what slightly older children can do regarding 'no'. I had no desire to spend an entire visit repeating NO to my 20 month old and dong nothing else, so I just didn't go to those places.

I remember one set of relatives being absolutely incredulous at the brilliant behavior of my five year old, their clear surprise definitely indicated to me that there had been many discussions about my awful parenting in the past.

You just have to plan to meet somewhere more child friendly. Invite her to yours or meet at the park. I wouldn’t really expect someone to change their house around for me to visit.

Just meet her somewhere else.
The most stressful evening I ever had was visiting a childless friend with a curious crawling baby where she had an open staircase, nervous rescue dog and had lit a fire! Not an experience I wished to repeat in a hurry

Suggest meeting somewhere else with your toddler or maybe you can go visit her alone at her house

You're not being unreasonable. They are being being unreasonable to criticise your parenting regardless.

However whether or not it's fair to expect babyproofing depends on who wants the visit in that location IMO.

If you visit their house at their request and for their convenience, I think it's reasonable for them to try to baby proof as much as they're physically capable.

If on the other hand you're visiting the house as it's easier for you I think you need to accept the house with it's ornaments (I wouldn't be happy with medication in reach of children though).

I suspect you've been visiting there for her convenience though. In which case definitely meet somewhere different as it's not fair on you or your child.

I'm in exactly the same boat with some of my relatives, it's a right pain in the butt!

Thanks for all your suggestions, majority are saying meet elsewhere! I go there because my aunt looks after my grandma who doesn't get out much otherwise I'd definitely tell her to come to my place 😊

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It's her home and you shouldn't go there if you can't prevent your toddler from breaking stuff. Can you leave your toddler with their father or meet somewhere else?