To ask if anyone else is awake?

[ImposterSyndrome101]

I’m working on stuff for uni right now because I can’t sleep and my anxiety has skyrocketed. My family situation at the moment is shit and I’ve no idea if I can pass this year let alone continue but I know I can’t go home either.

Welcome to my world of constant worry op!

Sorry about your son not being home though. Teenagers are great at this sort of thing. I remember when I had custody of my older nieces and nephews and they’d pull this stunt. The younger nephew stopped after I went round like a raging bull and dragged him home.

@Alicewond, my mental health has always been a bit iffy but it usually manifests in other ways. Ways which I can actually deal with. The crippling unable to move and focus anxiety however. Not a clue really.

I did a bit of linguistics in my French degree and loved it. So you do enjoy it but are struggling with work and demands from family then. Things will get better. Do the uni give you any learning support? Can you rewatch the lectures online or get them as notes? Might be worth asking for some adjustments for the apd??

Maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself right now, as I said earlier, what do you think would help (other than silly hypothetical questions from me)

I think if you can reduce the anxiety the work will get easier. Have you tried rescue remedy type things?

First year is hard , so much to get used to.
And you are way over thinking your future - That is your anxiety talking , not reality.

Family that don't have any experience of education often don't understand. Just keep saying , No , can't do that ay the moment - easier said than done I know.

And don't hide in your room. If you are feeling delicate , maybe choose a quiet place , go for a stroll and just try to take advantage of good weather.

I’ve been awake since 12.45

The menopause sucks.

Yeah they record all lectures which is a life saver tbh and access them online. I don’t think they’ve had a student with an auditory processing disorder before so I’ve no idea if they can help with some of the issues I’m having with that.

I think it’s mainly the combination of the demands and derision I get from my family combined with my workload. I know that separating myself from my family will help in the long term but I feel like that something I should do over summer so I’m not dealing with the fall out over exam season.

Maybe back to basics, how does an auditory processing disorder affect you?

So you need to tell the uni what you need from them in order to access the learning and succeed. Apd isn't well understood, so you may need to explain how it affects you and what helps you learn.

@NannyRed, yeah I’m not looking forwards to that but I’m sorry your suffering with it.

@Ferfeckssake, my family are like a cross between Mrs Browns Boys, The Royale Family and Shameless, not easy to deny and refuse to learn from their mistakes and expect me to be both the saviour and the scapegoat.

@Tarrarra, I’ve not heard of that but I do, do meditation and relaxation regularly which can be quite helpful.

@Alicewond, honestly I need to be stronger when dealing with my family. I need to improve my time management and prioritisation so I can keep on top of work and everyday tasks so they don’t overwhelm me and I need to take control of my situation regardless of what happens and put plans in place in case I do fail.

Hi op, I’m awake as well for almost exactly the same reason you are! I’m a first year mental health nursing student (and single mum of three) and have assignments due in the next few weeks, even though I only finished placement last week. The anxiety around this is ridiculous! I’ve always had some issues with anxiety but it’s so difficult To manage when you’re putting pressure on yourself! I HAVE to pass this degree as I left an abusive marriage in order to start it and feel I need to prove myself. I’ll also be the first one in my family to complete uni. After years of being told I’m stupid and worthless I feel I need to prove it to myself and everyone else that it’s not true!
I second what a pp said and try to do something nice for yourself tomorrow. I had Monday “off” and managed to get an entire assignment done today, so self care is very important! You CAN do this!

My main problem with APD is that all of my lecturers and seminar tutors aren’t native English speakers and have thick accents so I’m replaying lectures at a slower speed many times so I can undertand it and in seminars my seminar tutor talks too quickly for me to take anything in. Plus she also talks while looking at the board and I typically need to see someone’s lips as an additional support especially when someone’s speaking quickly or has a strong accent it’s easier to lip read.

So you need to tell them that. They can produce their lecture notes in writing I presume and tutors should be asked to take on board your points in seminars. It might make the world of difference

@Mamabird3, thank you. Your managing far better than I’d be able, coping with the stress of a degree and kids. You aren’t stupid or worthless in the slightest. Nurses are amazing and student nurses have so much work they should get far more credit than they do.

Ok maybe go more basic op, explain to people here who have never heard of auditory processing disorder what it means and how it effects someone

@Tarrarra, yeah. Honesty I’ve never thought to bring it up because I didn’t want to offend them by saying I can’t understand your accent and I can’t follow because of it. I’ve noted it down to put into an email for my supervisor tomorrow.

It basically means that there’s a disconnect in my brain between what it hears and what it understands which then causes issues in other areas.

Op you have already raised awareness in one night about what you have to deal with, you can get through this course. And then maybe you can help others like you with this condition by continuing this.

@Alicewond, thanks . That’s why I’m doing linguistics. I want to work in speech therapy so I can help people with issues like my own. At least to some extent.

Thanks to everyone though it’s been brilliant to get everything down and sort my thoughts and what I need to do and to get reminders that I need to be nicer to myself and to keep asking for help if I need it.

@ImposterSyndrome101 you are an amazing person, never let anyone tell you otherwise!

Imposter you can do this, you just need a bit of help!! Good luck!

All you need to do is scrape through your first year. A pass is all you need. With this level of commitment you will find second year a lot more straightforward as things start to slot in to place and you start to really find your feet with your course.

Remember that the staff want to keep you on the course. Tell them what they need to do to help you to keep going.

Hi Op. Firstly, you are doing an incredible, amazing job. You are completely capable of this (despite your challenges) and deserve your place there. Keep telling yourself that.

Secondly, Identify exactly what would help your condition in each of your classes and speak to your supervisor directly about that. And be direct. Map out the practical coping strategies that help to manage your condition and explain these fully to your supervisor. Then, if possible request a mtg with each of your tutors and ensure they understand too. Educating your tutors about your condition and requesting them to modify their methods should help you through the more complex and challenging aspects of your course.

In parallel, get a sit down with the pastoral care team at your uni. Talk things through with them - about your condition of course but really mostly about your family situation. You won't be the first or last person to break a family mould and head to uni with the weight of their issues on your shoulders.

Try not to catastrophise your future. You are not responsible for your family and you are not responsible for any failings there. It sounds like you may have been the solution to many of their problems in the past and now that you are no longer around for that - well - it's easier for them to disarm you of your self belief than to outwardly encourage you to succeed (they may feel it internally).

Also, and this may seem strange, but find a properly qualified sports psychologist. They are truly amazing at helping you realise your self worth / belief and how to apply that to many situations in life - not just sport. Try it - you'll be amazed.

Seek help now OP. Things will get much much better. Hang in there - your future self will thank you. 🙏