To ask for potty training help

[DisneyMillie]

We started potty training our dd 9 months ago - she’s 3 in a week. Generally it’s been really good - she’s been 100% reliable at home (her asking) since a couple of months in but did have occasional accidents at nursery which were getting more frequent.

Thinking it was because she was distracted I asked them to remind / prompt her to go if it had been a couple of hours and we’ve had the last 6 weeks with no nursery accidents.

However home has turned into a disaster in the last week. She’s gone from not making it in time and dribbling in her pants to telling us halfway through to wetting and not telling at all today.

I didn’t handle it well the other day and told her off (I totally accept this was the wrong thing to do) and thinking about it we’ve been out a lot in the last month or so and so she’s been taken to the loo instead of asking. (She’ll happily go if we take her every few hours - it’s if we leave it for her to ask that’s the issue)

I think she’s forgotten how to feel she needs to go. How do I help her get this back? Stickers aren’t working, bribery isn’t working. Taking her seems counter productive as I’m training me then. But I end up taking her as it feels unkind to leave her to wet herself as it upsets her.

Any advice gratefully received

My son didn’t ‘get’ it until he was left to wet himself. My experience is limited but most children I know learned nearer 3 and the ones who started training early took longer.

I’d leave her to wet herself for a few days.

It's totally normal for them to have a few regressions, so try not to worry although I know it's frustrating.

My son went through this stage when his sister was born. It was awful. He went from being 100% reliable to almost as if he'd never been trained!

We basically completely ignored him when he wet himself. We got him changed straight away but just didn't engage with him whilst doing so. When he did go to the pot we made a massive fuss as you do when you first start training.

That worked for us but obviously every situation is different. It took us a few days but it worked in the end! Good luck

It’s so hard as I feel if we stayed in and focused but I’ve a 9 year old who wants to go do things

As a few PP have said, as counter productive as it may seem, letting her wet herself may be the best option here.

Regressions are normal - my DD is four and very occasionally has the odd accident, despite being reliably trained since she turned 3.

The best advice I can offer is to not make a fuss (easier said than done I know!) when she has an accident but keep up with the praise when she uses the loo even when you think she’s reliable.

Could she have a urine infection? My daughter had one last year and it was the only time she had accidents.

It is normal to regress, they get bored of the task, their not reminded as often, the round of applause dies down. They try to back track, before eventually taking responsibility.
Keep positive, praise make it exciting again.
All very normal, the hard part is over.