To think I can't relax in my own home?

[Galwaygirl]

Is it me or do you find it hard to relax in your house, find it hard when she is here as I always feel there are things to be done in his eyes, when in laws call I jump up if sitting down and if cars come around I feel I need to be up and about,anyone else?

Oh blumin heck Bluntness. I was chuckling, about to make some joke about DDIJ living in a car... is that actually it??

I want to hear more about DDIJ

OP I feel like you. So I introduce a cleaning routine which involves a rota. Once I’ve done my rota for the day I don’t feel obliged to do anymore.

I always feel like I should be doing something (because there is always something to do! How do people keep clean houses, I'm
Forever cleaning and tidying and it's still always a tip )
And PIL sometimes drop in without calling first so I can't have a lazy day without waiting for the doorbell to go off. Probably shouldn't be in my pjs at 2pm anyway really.

Ah I was confused as it wasn’t clear the op was quoting someone.

It's not really my Story to tell. But I will say it's very concerning, and I don't think thr op and DDIJ are one and the same person.

I've no clue what rhe op is on about though.

I don’t think sitting in the car is going to resolve the issue (whatever the fuck it is)!

DDIJ, I do think you should maybe give people context about why you chose to live in your car when you make these posts. As people think you're being funny and don't understand the deeply concerning story behind your posts.

Is there a context? I am laughing about the neighbour reporting DDIJ for sitting in her own car, but now wondering if I'm being mean to laugh if there's a sad backstory.

One of my favourite times of the week is waiting for my ds doing sports club for 2 hours. I sit in the car wrapped in a blanket listening to an audiobook.

You are either pissed OP or taking the piss.

No I am not name changing, DDIJ replied to my post and I tried to copy and paste it in bold to say I found her reply funny but could not do it, I am new to posting here so was unable to do it correctly, also my computer changed dh to she and I did not proof read before I posted.

What I am trying to say, obviously badly (!) is that I find or feel guilty to relax when I am in my house, to switch off and sit down.
I always feel there is work to do and if people, be it in laws, Dh, family call I feel I should be up and about rather than sitting down, I suppose I don't want to be perceived as lazy.

The post is all over the place as I have been up since 6am and it's been a long day!

Why do you think people think you should be doing things?

DDIJ the ops issues are not the same as yours.

I'm like this, definitely related to anxiety. When DH is working away, I run a tight ship, get all my "jobs" out of the way before bed etc. When he's home I force myself to "relax" but always end up going to bed pissed off knowing that there are dishes in the sink for morning, his sweaty sock and shoes kicked off on the floor etc etc... I work from home too so if by some miracle my house is ok, I know I need to get in the office

I think people have got confused

A) because of the autocorrect fail in the first post

Here you go

Is it me or do you find it hard to relax in your house, find it hard when DH is here as I always feel there are things to be done in his eyes, when in laws call I jump up if sitting down and if cars come around I feel I need to be up and about,anyone else?

B) theres two different conversations goimg on.

Tje person whos said no i'm on a public road, i'm affecting house prices isn't the OP its the same person who said go and sit in your car its magical Because some one else asked if they sat in the drive way. But not the same person unless OP is sock puppetting but extolling the virtues of sitting in a car for 10 minutes peace and quiet is a very odd thing to thibk that you either need a thread on or that you'd need to sock puppet to convince us of it

OP did say she used to sit in her car but her neighbours complained - which i'll give you is weird

DDIJ I was only saying I think you should give context for your sake, as people thought you were being funny and I'd have thought that might hurt you.💐

As for nulland voiding any suggestion, then in this case, yes, the ops desire not to be seen as lazy I don't think will be resolved by her sitting in her car instead of her house.

Cross posted with OP and DDIJ ignore me

OP YABVU.
It's your home.
It's the one place you should be able to relax.
If PIL or DH feel the house is a mess then hand them a duster.
Life is too short to spend all your time stressing and tidying.
Read a book, paint a picture, swan about all day in your PJs if you like.
DH and I went to the pub in the middle of the day recently and drank brandy, was very relaxing.

If there are things that need doing in DHs eyes, surely he would be doing them? If he is sitting relaxing /doing his hobby etc, so should you be.

Wondering if your Mum was a never-sitting-still housekeeper and you have taken this on subconsciously?

Second the reccomenation re Wifework by the way.

I could have written this.

Yes. I feel like I'm a lodger in my own home and that I should be constantly doing something or I get 'the look'

I just want to sit down, we both have full time, exhausting jobs. And yet I feel that he thinks our lives are purely for tidying and cleaning and making the house look like a show home. I look forward to the drive to and from work alone, because it's an hour and a half of proper fuck all time.

So I know exactly how you feel

What?

Do you work? Do you have kids? Why do you feel you can’t sit and relax??

And no I don't find it hard to relax in my own home.