To be annoyed at DH not playing along with ‘the guessing game’

[Bethan369]

DS 10 spent 2 hours this afternoon making a little stop action animation. He had to take over 200 photos to make it and was proud of himself when it was finished. He was excited to show DH when he got in from work and said ‘I’m going to get him to guess how long it took me and how many photos I had to take!’

He had asked me to guess too and, as you do, I guessed low ‘20 pictures? 30?50?’ then feigned surprise when he said 200 followed by ‘wow that must have taken you ages we’ll done!’

Now DH’s not stupid, he watched the video and then guessed that it’d taken him 3 hours and 200 photos.

I know this is very petty and obviously I’m not raging or anything but I just thought why can’t you just play along, let the lad surprise you instead of being a know it all!

So he guessed correctly? I really don't see what's wrong with that. I would probably do the same.

My dd is 10. She’s not that into the guess game anymore.

I understand that as strangers it might seem odd that DS ‘wants’ the wrong answer but DH has been his dad for 10 years! He should know his personality by now, all he wanted was to surprise him.

Mummyoflittledragon and?

I think your comment about your DS's personality is the key. If he wanted your DH to guess and you both know his personality he should have played along.

Part of being a parent is knowing. One of mine would want to play the guessing game whereas another would want you to guess accurately. Your DH should have played along imo.

So are you saying he deliberately said the ‘right’ answer not a low wrong answer knowing that’s what DS wanted? Or did he just come in and without thinking too much gave what felt like a reasonable reply?
Because if scenario 1 he’s a prick if scenario 2 then he’s just a human who’s probably tired.

My dh does this to me and it drives me bonkers...
'Guess how much i paid for this?!'
'£1.20.'

I don’t think it wasn’t done on purpose, I understand he was tired (as am I, I’ve been on an early shift but still managed to engage my brain).

I think you sound terribly patronising towards a ten-year-old boy and micromanaging the relationship between him and his father.

You treat him like he was still little and his father is treating more as an adult, I know which response I would have preferred at that age.

Aquilla lol yeh, even at 38 if I’ve had a bargain in the shops and I ask him to guess and he comes back with ‘a fiver’ it pisses me off!

Coyoacan no you’re wrong, I’m not patronising at all and I definitely don’t treat him like he’s little, I just understood what he wanted in that moment.

DH gets how much work was involved, and has guessed accurately? Is he an animator too?

But as in how much work is involved, I have spent several hours helping the builders to clean up (the kitchen is being refurbed) after the hopefully dirtiest day of the project when old plaster was taken down. I started at 8.00 am emptying glass cupboards and clearing surfaces, to minimise the clear up. Drop cloths have been used everywhere possible and DH came in and complained that his paperwork pile was covered in dust and no cold beer. I can barely see the kettle! But now it's back to hygienic if you don't look too closely, and I am shattered.He's been at work, away from the noise and dust. I put kitchen utensils into the closed dishwasher to keep them clean, and there's still dust on them.

I did feel his expectations were a tad unreasonable!

Oh bloody hell, I really wouldn’t be able to find the energy to be piste doff about this.
I really admire your ds for how much hard work he put in to a project, but I really don’t think your DH is unreasonable here.

DaphneFanshaw I did say in my op that I know it’s petty and I’m not raging or anything just a big annoyed.

The moments long gone in ‘real life’.

*bit

Is there something else going on in your marriage? This just seems like you’re looking for things to pick at tbh. It’s really not an issue that a tired parent didn’t erupt with enthusiasm on one occasion.

I hear you op. It would annoy me too.

ILoveMaxiBondi I haven’t said that I’ve got an issue with him not erupting with enthusiasm.

Even adults play that game! My brother in law said the other day ‘you’ll never guess how much my new computer lead cost......’ and then delighted in all the guesses.

Not the end of the world but I agree with you!

I would have preferred your DHs response that recognised how hard he had worked and how much time he put in. He sounds very determined and creative.

Also, what was it of? (if that’s not too outing). I’m fascinated and impressed that a little lad could work so hard at something.

Did your ds even say that it was important for your DH to play along in this magical moment ?
I get that you think he needs that, but your DH knows him as well as you do (as far as we know from your op). Maybe your ds is happy to have different approaches from you both, that way you’re fulfilling all of his needs.
I know your probably just tired and using this paste to vent, so vent away.
My DP pisses me off for just breathing (loudly) sometimes.

Yes YABU. Your DH has just got in from work, he's entertained watching the video & given a guess. Your son is 10, not 4. Sure, it's good fun to guess & lovely that he's so excited but it's hardly worth being annoyed about.

Cherrysherbet thanks.

TeddybearBaby thanks, yes it’s no big deal and I haven’t made it into one at home.

As long as he said well done and congratulating him on the effort her put in I think it's fine because then he's still giving your son the recognition he wants and deserves.
If he just made his guess and that was that or was more proud of himself for guessing correctly then yes he was being a knob for not encouraging his child.