To ask, is this the menopause?

[CaramelEmporium]

I’m nearly 45. Married, we rub along ok for the most part. One young child. I’m a stone or two overweight. Work full time, occasional periods of stress but generally ok if longish hours. No family childcare support. DH is pretty good, cooks etc but mental load of family life is predominantly on me. This is for context / background.

Periods are still regular but I’m a mess. Lapses of memory, lethargic all the time, absolutely no vavavoom for life, short tempered, over emotional. Indecisive.... I was buying tuna in the supermarket this afternoon and DH said I was like a rabbit in the headlights choosing. I’m snappy with my child and sometimes look at DH and want to kill him for sometimes just breathily ‘loudly’. Rarely get a good nights sleep. What the hell is wrong with me?

HRT? ADs? What’s the answer???

Personally I just thought I was wiser and no longer willing to put up with shit.
Been around the blocks a few times, enough shitty experiences to have a bit of a chip on my shoulder.
Mentally exhausted with 3 teens etc, oh and shift work.
It never occurred to me a pill could help my hectic life.
But no harm in trying and suffering needlessly.

Sorry alienspaceship I wasn't meaning you specifically, just from reading the boards on meno there seems to be a lot of worry over whether to try hrt at all. My feeling is that if you have the symptoms, and you are in a low risk group, then why not.
I was really lucky with my doctor, which I didn't realise until seeing how restrictive some doctors can be.
Could you try and see someone else?

Oh lord knit with 3 teens and shift work what you need is a medal!

Your definitely not too young! I'm 48 and have been in v obvious peri for at least a couple of years. I've just done my own research and have found a way to bob along with a mix of exercise, diet, supplements, estriol cream (for my ladybits) and antideps (which I've been on for years). HRT could well be the way forward but I'd also suggest first getting a handle on where your at, and why. Would be worth getting some bloods done for things like B12, vitD, iron, ferritin etc, maybe even thyroid - if any of these are even slightly out of whack, you could feel rubbish.

I'm 49 this year and peri menopausal (had bloods done)

I have never been so tired in my life - I could sleep anywhere any time

I have thyroid issues and B12 deficiency so I know these are under control - it's just PM and it sucks - I have headaches and cystitis all the time and I have zero patience with the kids (poor sods)

GP was useless - after 6 months of no periods for 6 weeks then awful heavy ones every 2 weeks I demanded the pill - I had to argue so much to get it (GP was a new one - about 25 with no clue what's coming for her in 30 years!) I'm booked in to see my usual lovely GP next week to discuss options.

I work and I am a single parent of 3 I refuse to keep on feeling this shit

sorry - ranty - YANBU OP it's sounds just like it

I saw the GP when the night sweats were unbearable, sent for blood tests and yes I'm peri (still bleeding regularly and only 47) - now I'm on HRT I didn't realise how many other symptoms I had until they were gone!

DH has since admitted that I've been like a lunatic for about 18 months and he felt like he was walking on egg shells as he didn't know what type of mood I would be in at any point of the day

I think you're right to anticipate a battle with your GP! I went with perimenopausal symptoms when I was nearly 48 and again at nearly 49 and both times she told me she thought that was really early for such symptoms .

She definitely seemed reluctant to prescribe HRT. Muttered about risks and having to do checks etc

Should add that my gp is in her words ' a v similar age to me '

Yes it sounds like perimenopuase. I'm 49 and have had these symptoms for a few years - I thought it was anxiety and depression but when I started to also get hot flushes I read up on it and realised it was the perimenopause. My GP has me on the lowest dose of HRT after lots of begging but it is still too low - I can still sleep standing up some afternoons, I still get panic attacks and I am angry quite a lot. You may have to argue, but fight for it - the right HRT is apparently amazing. I've now found a GP who specialises in this and I am going to go to her instead.

God I'm so grateful for my doctor now. It's so ridiculous! Young girls are injected with massive amounts of hormones (I know contraception is important but still).Whereas grown ass women have to beg for a little bump of estrogen!
You know what was the weirdest thing with me-after I got on the patch thingies, the physical stuff was a bit better, but it was subtle. Mentally though my confidence just rocketed. I hadn't realised how low I had felt until I didn't anymore.
Also, I took the pill ( both kinds) when younger and it didn't agree with me, but hrt is just fine I feel quite evangelical about it!

OP - are you me?

I feel like I’ve turned into a different person. Plenty of life stuff going on to stress me out but I have never felt like this. Fatigue so awful I can barely function. I’m 46 (had to think about that - brain fog!).

Sadly my rage and intolerance extends to the thought of being fobbed off by my GP. Plus I have breast cancer in my family so I don’t want to try HRT. So what’s the point.

Am considering attacking this on a broad front. I already exercise, so might stop alcohol (yep. I feel THAT bad), overdose on iron and vit D and reassess after month.

I can’t go on like this, though. I don’t recognise myself.

I'm 45 and had fertility tests a few years ago, which identified that I was heading for an early menopause and your description op, could very well apply to me. I have 3 dcs (two are young including a toddler) and I am finding it exhausting and I seem to get easily overwhelmed/tearful. I think my hormones have a lot to do with it but it is difficult to identify what is what, with toddler only just starting to sleep through the night. I had my thyroid checked not so long ago and it was fine. This year, for the first time, I have started to feel my age, little niggles such as poorer eyesight that I never had before. Watching this thread with interest.

We’re on holiday at the moment. I’d like to say having a lovely time but we’re not, because of me tbh. I’m going to do a bit of reading up and make a docs appointment when we’re back. I’m not averse to the idea of HRT or ADs but I’m also aware that I’m unhappy being overweight and I could do more to reduce my work stress like delegate more and let go a bit of things, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. Doing both might help to lift me a bit.